The Paradox that makes us say that Sunday is longer than monday

You know what is a paradox? Well, most of us study or hear this problem where you are lost in an island; with two tribes; one says truth and the other lies; and you have to ask them which one is saying the truth;…. Well that’s a textbook paradox. But if you want a real paradox, let me first introduce you to the concept of “Sunday is longer than Monday”.
If you actually cannot relate to this particular phrase, then you must be a person who doesn’t wear a kai-vecha-banian aka, sleeved vest. Or, if you do wear one, you are surely a full sleeve wearing working class member.
If you are none of the above, then you really don’t understand the pain that a whole lot of us undergo on a routine basis.
And just in case you belong to the minority that endures this phenomenon, but doesn’t know what I am talking about, then this picture should clear the air.

As you can see, I am referring to the problem that a lot of us grown men suffer from when they wear a sleeved vest and a half-sleeved t-shirt or regular shirt over it. This is not a very pleasant sight, and is a slightly delicate one which makes it impossible to point at and laugh. Or alert the person directly. Which is why people suddenly say that Sunday is longer than Monday, hoping that only the person with overflowing vest understands what they say and would take corrective action. But then the phrase is known to many and if you suddenly utter that phrase, everyone around you immediately checks their sleeve. And therein lies a paradox. 

What has to be considered is the root cause of the problem, which if you think about it is the main paradox. On the one hand, the vest makers think that their clientele are constantly increasing in body size and hence, the vests they make must be flexible enough to stretch. Issue however, is that the rate at which a human expands is a tad slower than the rate at which the hosiery does.
On the other hand, the makers of t-shirts and half-sleeve shirts seem to think that their clientele is so fitness conscious that they have to make their product with really tight and short sleeves. For some reason, they believe that the models they use to advertise their product basically represent the entire population, whereas they represent only the models.
Shouldn’t cloth makers make clothes with the same assumption? Paradox?
Coming to adverts, it is almost impossible to find any banian ad where they show an average Uncle type wearing a kai-vecha-banian. It is always a gym body youth who wears a kai-illaadha banian. The very purpose of a banian is to ensure that the body sweat doesn’t show up in the outer layer. So, in the generally hot conditions of this country, why should anyone wear the kail-illadha banian if sweat is going to be pouring out of the most porous part of the body – the underarm. That again is another paradox.
Is there a solution in sight? I can at least offer my experience and hope others benefit. Or feel inspired to share theirs. We sufferers have to keep constantly folding up the vest or tuck it inside the outer sleeve. Some may even have to resort to using a paper clip to hold it in place.
The trick that I usually try is folding the inner sleeve along the hem a couple of times. This way, the vest still stays hidden, and it doesn’t look like you suddenly developed your biceps overnight. The other more painful way is to tuck in the vest into the deep ravines of the underwear. The idea being that the tightness of the elastic in the underwear holds the vest in place and ensures that there is no peek-a-boo from either arm.
Obviously, this method carries the inherent risk of asphyxiation, especially when sitting. And sitting is what we mostly do the whole day and so, this technique may require a lot of training before it can be implemented without supervision.
Until we find a long term solution to this issue, we have no choice but to wear full-sleeve shirts.

Indian TV ads reviewed - #007 - Airtel Friends

This is a review long due.

Airtel started launching a set of ads late last year, with the target audience being the youth who want to stay in touch with every friend of theirs.
While the series has quite a few variants on this theme, what was probably the best was the one about the kid giving a missed call to the Police. The ad can be seen here:

As a series, the ads were good. Conveyed the message clearly, though they couldnt really come up with too many types of friends in individual ads. The jingle was catchy and so was the original "हर एक friend ज़रूरी है" tagline (though the one in Tamizh sounded quite odd).

Indian TV ads reviewed - #006 - Times of India Chennai Edition

This ad is simply superb.

The ad shows clips of different events that happen around us - typically what you would see in a newspaper. You see a guy holding a newspaper and yet, he is fast asleep.

The ad conveys the message that the reporting in the leading newspaper in Chennai (It is still The Hindu) is quite boring. [It is very much the general perception, though it is also a habit that nobody wants to give up.]

The video clipping has been shot well. And the music - it really puts the listener to sleep.

Awesome ad, though I don't necessarily subscribe to the message being conveyed. 

Indian TV ads reviewed - #005 - Hero Moto Corp

This is the new ad for the "new" company - Hero Moto Corp.

The purpose of the ad is not really to showcase the vehicles made by this company. This ad is more an exercise in re-branding.

The lyrics and voice-over talk about there being a hero within every Hindustani and that the new name for the heartbeat of the nation is Hero Moto Corp.

I am not qualified enough to say if the ad really delivers on the re-branding effort and that is mainly because, the  ad didn't showcase the vehicles made by the company. The ad features so many different plots and barring a couple of them, they don't showcase the vehicles made by the company.

They do show some random set of two-wheelers going around, towards the end of the ad, but I am not impressed.

The other big complaint I have is with the jingle. I am a HUGE fan of ARR, but I felt that his music wasn't anything great. Especially the part where he drags "Ham mein haim Herooooo o ooo" - yikes.

All in all, the ad didn't work for me!

Indian TV ads reviewed - #004 - Flipkart.com

These set of ads for Flipkart.com are good.
Ad 1
Ad 2
Ad 3
Ad 4

Fundamentally, these ads serve the main purpose of what is being marketed - benefits of online shopping with Flipkart,com. The best part is that the message is conveyed directly and yet, the ads are funny. Not the ROTFL funny type, but ones that will surely bring about chuckles.
The ads feature kids, who are thankfully, not made to appear as the super smart ones we see in most ads or Indian movies.
On the flip side, there is ample scope for the women to say that the ads are "cute" and "sweet".

I like the ad because it is a series, it conveys its message directly and is a little funny.

Indian TV ads reviewed - #003 - Tanishq Diamond Jewellery

These ads from Tanishq featuring Amitabh and Jaya Bachchan are really cool.

Since there is only so much you can do when it comes to jewellery ads, most of the ads cater only to the emotional aspect - either mushy with young couples or sentimental with family angle.
So, it was quite refreshing to see this first ad and then this follow-up.
It catered to the romantic angle without getting mushy, was funny overall thanks to both AB and JB, talked about the technicalities of the product, indicated that their sales personnel are aware of what they sell and of course, it still stuck to the stereotypes (women always like diamonds and want more of it).

A really good series of ads.

Indian TV ads reviewed - #002 - Tata Docomo

Tata Docomo's latest set of ads with the tag line of "The network that always connects. Everywhere" appear to be good. You can see them all here.

It is not a single ad and is a series featuring some very different situations where one doesn't want to be connected and yet, gets a call. 

You can argue that the "Everywhere" situations shown in the ad are not all places where it is difficult to get calls.  And you are right. This series doesn't show people getting calls while inside an elevator. Or inside a tunnel. But then, even in the heart of the city, sometimes the signal is poor, so we can excuse that aspect. 

However, there are a couple of ads in the series, which seem to be a little offensive. The Tamil guy stopping his wedding ritual to attend a call, didn't look good. Similarly, showing the maid-servant stealing a phone was not in good taste. And the rocking car one, could have been avoided. 

In terms of fun/humor this series of ads are spot on. And it scores even in conveying the main message. A welcome relief from the earlier sets featuring Ranbir Kapoor's stand-up comedy. 

Indian TV ads reviewed - #001 - Bisleri

I am referring to this ad

The ad attempts a twist on the the tag-line/catch-phrase of staying protected with Bisleri.
The thought of doing the twist is good, otherwise the ad would have been quite plain.
But I didn't like the execution.
I wasn't sure if the setting was Arabic (the men looked like ancient Mughals) or Chinese (the dragon was clearly Mongoloid and the paintings shown at the start of the ad looked Chinese).

I didn't like the ad, but didn't hate it either.

P.S.: Yes, I have started reviewing ads. 

Wheelchair for cats and dogs?

I really don't know why there is a cat and dog in this ad.

I dont have a kid, but even if I did, I wouldnt consider this school

This could have been on the Ingilipiece blog, but the issue here is only around logic and not around the language.

And incidentally, this is my 500th post!

Talk of things going awry

The latest Sprite series of ads are good and I am sure, they also received good response. Then the team owned by SRK - Knight Riders - got Sprite as one of their sponsors. So, the regular Sprite series of ad was extrapolated to include the new partners.

In the new ad, the fat guy says to the boss, that he has brought in all the goonda types, just so that he can scare the opposition.
Hearing this, the team owner asks him as to what those other guys are doing and points him to his cricket team.
They close off the ad with the fat guy being admonished.

But I think, the owner missed a trick completely and must have listened to the fat dude. In any case, the result would not have been any worse!

See the ad here.

And btw, I am very happy that SRK is getting $crewed in IPL 2009.

Random Observation # 043

Of late, there is an ad on TV for Reliance Communication. It features a guy who has bought a new laptop and is on the way home (I presume). This guy is at first asked by someone in the elevator "got SIM?". Then he gets the same message displayed in various means. Like he sees a text "got simpler" and a bus pulls over and cuts off the "ler" from his view. He sees the mirror image of MI2 which looks like SIM... you get the idea.

All this is for selling Reliance's USB modem which can be used to connect to the Internet from anywhere.

And the theme of the ad is that this USB modem for a laptop is like the SIM for your mobile.

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't Reliance Communications' core mobile service offered using CDMA technology? Which offers no SIM. So why do they want to advertise with an analogy to a SIM when they don't use it themselves?

Karna and me on the same boat

There is this story in the MahaBharata, where Guru Dronacharya curses Karna that when he needed it the most, he'd forget how to use the Brahmastra. The Guru gave this curse because Karna lied about his lineage to learn from the great master. The master considered this as an act of treason and hence gave Karna this curse.

I committed a similar act of treason recently and the very purpose for which I did it is now lost on me.

There is this ad promoting Sun TV's DTH service that keeps getting shown on the Sun network. Those familiar with the ad would know that it features my current dream-girl Tamanna. The ad has a digitally altered voice in the jingle and added to the fact that I am totally distracted when she is on screen, I have not been able to follow what is being said, or rather sung, in the ad.

Apart from the "Veetukku veedu Sun Direct" part, I couldn't decipher anything. My mother has been constantly asking me to interpret the words and like I mentioned before, I have been unable to decode the words since my brain was allocating all available resources to my eyes to see Tamanna.

But yesterday, after her incessant pleas, I decided to really help my mother. And so believe it or not, I did THE blasphemous act and closed my eyes when the ad came up. And lo!, I was able to understand some of the words in the ad. However with overwhelming guilt getting added to my really bad memory and probably some higher power cursing me for this act, I now don't remember the words at all. I just know that there was an "adhiradee service" somewhere, but there is nothing else left in my memory.

Serves me right for closing my eyes when Tamanna was on screen.

Statistics for an earlier article

More than a month back, I posted this article where I mentioned about the insane number of advertisements that are shown while movies are telecast on festival days.

At 6 PM today, Sun TV started telecasting the movie 'Vettaiyadu Villayadu'. When the first interruption for advertisements started, I decided to clock the telecast and here are the results (in minutes):

1. Advertisements = 06:08.7 (I didn't start the stop clock until the 2nd ad)
2. Movie = 17:27.5
3. Ad = 06:49.6
4. Movie = 17:14.6
5. Ad = 06:22.4
6. Movie = 14:07.0
7. Ad = 05:56.1

The time here could be off by a couple of seconds here and there, since I have to first react to the interruption and then press appropriate keys in the stopwatch.
They then went off to the 7.30 PM news. Dunno if they are going to resume the movie after few more ads!!!

Kinda related note: I'm liking the movie so far. :)

This too is adulteration

One of the dictionaries gives the meaning of the word "adulterate" as follows:

****
adulterate

adjective
1. mixed with impurities

verb
1. corrupt, debase, or make impure by adding a foreign or inferior substance; often by replacing valuable ingredients with inferior ones;
****

And based on the sheer volume of advertisements I see these days in the media - electronic, paper and anything else that might be there - I am of the strong opinion that the content that I am paying for is heavily adulterated.

Just refresh your memory to the programs on TV on Deepavali day. There were so many channels telecasting "mega hit" movies. Or movies that were "released few weeks back" etc. etc. Effectively, we all sat down to watch the movie, but do you really have a good feeling about it? I don't. I just remember seeing some scenes interspersed with a gazillion folk wishing the viewers a happy Deepavali. The problem is that they came on screen so often, that even when I switched on the TV, I could see them on screen!

Anyways, the point is, I got to watch some 10 minutes of the movie, followed by 5-6 minutes of advertisements. What about normal days? Any of the soaps telecast on these channels will give you a total of 20 minutes of program time and a solid 10 minutes of ad time. The only time I don't see ads on TV is when I watch the Suprabhatham show at 5.30 AM. Actually even then, there is at least one ad between the end of that program and the start of the next.

And I don't even have to go in detail about the volume of ads we see during cricket matches. Good grief. 2-3 ads between every over. At the end of each ball, you get some scrolls or there is a banner ad around the corners. As if we don't see enough of these, we get movie actors (gender-free term) promoting their movies during the match.

The Internet is not far behind. Every goddamn website has ad scrolls running around. So much so, that some of the news sites have started putting up videos of their TV ads in a separate area on screen. Try reading an article containing statements made by Lalu, with a video of Amir Khan merely 3 pixels away and you will know what I am talking about.

Is the print media free of this nuisance? Hell no. There are so many ads in each page. But at least, they follow a very strict pattern of placing the ads at the bottom or side and always in pre-defined pages.

Why do we accept this nonsense? Just picture yourself in a cinema hall watching the latest James Bond flick on screen. Just when Bond orders a vodka martini - shaken but not stirred - there comes an ad which glorifies the capabilities of Harpic's latest toilet cleansing solution! How would you feel?

This is why I would like the appropriate regulatory authority in India, bring about laws that govern how much of advertisements can be displayed in all these media. Let them spell out clearly that when a consumer is paying for some content, he should be able to view the content without any adulteration. Or at least, like in the case with an off-the-shelf food consumable, the consumer should be made aware of what is the percentage for the various components in that content that is being consumed.

For example, for the electronic media, there must be a cap that for 30 minutes of program (does not included any live coverage) a maximum of 5-6 minutes can only be spent on advertisements. For live programs, there needs to be a very detailed cap for the different types of events being covered live.

In print media, let there be dedicated pages that have only advertisements, just like they have classifieds as separate pages or as a supplement itself. Let them say that for 5 sq.in of printed matter, there can be 1 sq.in of ad space.

Similar funda for the web pages as well.

Am I infringing on the freedom of a manufacturer to advertise his products? No. I am only asking for an option where I get to choose how much ads I want to see. I think its the same as the marketing calls that we get on our phones. If that can be regulated, I see no reason why this shouldn't be.

And in fact, since there is lesser time/space available to display ads, we would get improved programming content, as otherwise the viewer is simply going to switch channels. Or buy another newspaper. Or go to some other website. For the very same reason, the media is going to hike up the rates for the advertisers, which means we wont have to see ads of "anjaal aluppu marundhu". And since the advertiser sees the shorter attention span for the consumer, he obviously has to improve the quality of the ad, so that there is better brand identity retention (or whatever the technical term is). We would soon get into a situation like in the US, where the annual Super Bowl presents the opportunity for the best ads to come out.

But this regulation, must be implemented only when the consumer pays for something. If I watch a pay channel, the ad must be regulated. If its a free-to-air channel, I don't think it should be forced to comply with these regulations. Similarly with print media. If I pay, I don't want to see these many ads. But if I am getting a free newspaper, then it can have any number of advertisements. Same is the case with web pages as well.

I have obviously not given a practical solution to what may not even be a problem for many people. But haey, that's who I am!

Deodarants...

All these deo ads lie, OK?

Ever since I reached an age when using deos started becoming a necessity, I've been hunting for that perfect deo. Perfect not just in terms of its basic functionality, but also the added features that are listed in their ads.

One of the first ones I tried was Denim. Started off with their talc though. And their tag line was "For the man who doesn't have try...too hard". And it had (I think it still does) this image of a guy in a denim shirt and a female hand sliding over his chest into his shirt.

So, I assumed that would work for me, though I didn't have a denim shirt. I'd hoped the deo/talc would do the needful.

But nah! Nothing of that sort ever happened. I wondered where the problem was. Then I realised that I misunderstood the tag line. It clearly said "..who doesn't have try...too hard". I'd conveniently left out the 'too hard' part of it and so had great hope on that product.

By the time I figured this one out, it was many years. I tried couple of other things in between like Old Spice and Gillette. They were good, but not great.

Then a couple of years back, I switched to Axe. Once again, I was smitten by their ads. In any of their ads, you could always see girls falling left, right and center on a chap who used Axe.

Not wanting to be left out, I too tried all the variants they had. But unlike in the ad: no girl did anything to me in an elevator, no girl volunteered to help me at the dry cleaners etc. Life just seemed to be going on as usual.

So I lost interest in Axe as well.

And then, for the past few months/week, there is a new deo in town called Set Wet Zatak. Needless to say, their ads too were quite interesting and promised a lot. I got the deo last weekend and have been using it for the past 5 days.

Let me tell you this: THERE IS NO BLOODY DIFFERENCE. I didn't see any girl getting excited in my presence, no girl started scribbling nonsense on a board and no girl started getting into a fight with her fiance'.

But I am going to take the high road here and assume that all these things did take place, oblivious to me.

All in all, for all you people out there - If you are planning to buy a deo seeing any TV/Print ad, please be forewarned. In my experience all these years, nothing of that sort ever happens.

Just buy something that smells good and doesn't burn a hole in your wallet.

Offer from a mobile telephone service provider

I've been listening to radio of late and there's this ad that first impressed me. One of the mobile phone service providers has an offer that says 2000 free minutes. For two years. To any mobile phone of the same network.
First time I heard it I was like wow, that's a super cool offer.
Then after hearing it for 2-3 times, I decided to do the math.
To enjoy the full benefit, one can talk for 2000 minutes in 2 years.
Which is 1000 in 1 year.
Breaks down further to 83.33 minutes a month.
On an average that's 2.77 minutes a day.
Now, does that look like a great offer?
Hell NO.