Dont be silly, it was just a visit to Nalli

Last Friday (10th Sep.), my parents dragged me along to a place created solely for the purpose of punishing mankind. And by mankind, I am not talking about the human race per se. I am referring strictly to the "man"kind. If you are still not clear what I mean, I can bet that you are either a woman or you are a man still reeling under the impact of a recent visit to Nalli.

And just in case the owners of Nalli happen to chance upon this blog and find it offensive, let me clarify that by saying Nalli, I refer to all these textile shops, a.k.a "javulli kadai" in local parlance. You can clearly see that, thanks to my visit to Nalli, my cognitive abilities have been compromised and now, instead of being sued by one shop, the whole of T. Nagar is going to be up in arms against me.

I was made to visit this shop because (a) we wanted to kill some time before heading out to a matrimonial registration office and (b) my mother had to buy some sarees. For those of you who have not visited Nalli during the off-season, please be advised that it is ridiculous to think that the shop is crowded only during on-season. The difference between off-season and on-season is simple - during the latter, there are 4 ladies trying to get hold of the same saree whereas during the former, only 3 are competing for the same item. The other main contributor to this is that the off-season lasts for probably 5 hours during the month of Purattaasi.

As we entered the great Nalli shop opposite Panagal Park, we were first presented with the "Parking Full" signboard at the gate. Like most normal people, I assumed that the parking lot was indeed full and more than the assumption, it was a valid excuse for me to swing away from the shop. However, I didn't realize that there was a Nalli specialist inside the car - my mother.

She just told me to proceed through the gate and drop them off there. Her reasoning was that they always put up that board too drive away someone who is trying to simply use their parking space. I proceeded to follow her instructions and stopped the car after entering the gates. While my parents were getting down, I was slightly distracted by a girl in a Pink salwar and had become deaf to whatever the Security guard was telling me.

After a couple of "Saar....Saar" sounds that initially appeared to come from a distant planet, I realized that someone was actually addressing me. It was the Security guard who simply asked me to try my luck in their parking lot that was at the back of their shop. I moved my car reluctantly, though in hindsight, am not sure if the reluctance was because I was moving away from what looked to be a promising sight or if it was because there seemed to be no escaping the Nalli visit.

I was then guided by some parking attendants, dressed as security guards though, to a vacant spot somewhere in the extremities of the shop. I walked back to the shop to find my parents waiting at the entrance and we proceeded to make a verb of that noun.

Once inside the shop, we were greeted with the quintessential montage of Nalli - light brown lighting interspersed with bright yellow focus lights, people of all shapes in groups of varied sizes, awesome Air-conditioning and sad men. But not all men were sad. While a significant number of men in the shop were sad, quite a few of the lucky ones were rushing to pay their obeisance to the shop so that they could get out and the rest were in a state as being somewhere between unconsciousness and deep sleep.

And then of course, were the male employees who, in the eyes of a raging teenager, may have the world's best job, but who in those same eyes some 5 years later, become an extremely pitiable species.

My mother actually made some real quick selection of sarees, once she reached her desired "section" - the section being "Bengal Cotton". I did my best to not participate in the whole selection process, but she insisted that I pick something. And I quite literally picked up the one at the top of the pile on display. She liked the color and the design and I thought I could now escape further participation by virtue of having selected one. However, she was so impressed with my selection, that she asked to select the next one too.

Grudgingly, I did pick one more and declared clearly that I wouldn't be selecting any more. Then came the whole "blouse matching" episode. This activity is precisely what the learned folks once said, "You cant fix a square hole in a round peg" or something to that effect. That is because, the whole effort is now to match the colors made using completely different set of pigments, using completely different set of procedures and finally ending up on a completely different material.

But the deed had to be done and it was done. However, I stayed away from doing actual work and tried to take some much rest by sitting on the mini cane chairs placed in the middle of the floor. I must add that the placement was quite strategic in that while you are seated, you get the impression that you are actually resting, but it is still close enough for the person doing the matching work to be able to constantly bombard you with questions around how good the match is.

Anyways, my mother was done with most of her selection and my father then goaded her into buying one more saree. She now decided to go to some other section and I was then given the enviable task of carrying the already selected items and placing them near one of the billing counters. Turns out, that shops like Nalli, actually have a dedicated "Credit Card Counter" and so, I went to place the items on that table. But I was a bit skeptical that someone else may actually bill those items and take them along. Even as I was standing there contemplating this possibility, a helpful Nalli representative approached me. He would have seen similar facial expressions on the numerous children who I am sure, get lost routinely at that shop. When I told him about my confusion, he asked me as to why would someone pay for someone else's purchase.

I thought that maybe there's a shopper's code of integrity or some such thing, whereby once items reach the billing counter, others would not try to poach on them. I then proceeded to join my mother and once again, I helped her in picking up another saree. Then the whole "matching" process started and this time, we were directed to some other section of the shop which was at the third floor of their annexe building which had an entry from the main store itself.

After winding through some stairs and floors, we finally completed the task at this new section and started our return trip to the aforementioned "Credit Card Counter". En route, I saw the same pink salwar girl I mentioned earlier in this narrative. I then recognized her as the Vijay TV compere, Ramya. This Ramya, from whatever little I have seen on TV, was quite plump, but in person, was not so. I tried pointing her to my mother, but by the time she understood what I was trying to say, the celebrity had gone off somewhere in the maze.

We went on to the billing process, where there was the usual "might is right" pushing and shoving by everyone to get their billing done first. I finally got mine done after signing the credit transaction slips and also the merchant copy of the invoice! I was afraid that the guy manning the counter may ask me to sign some ledger, but thankfully, he didn't

Our goods were then packed in the traditional Nalli method of first putting them in a brown bag and sealing it with a paper tape. That method to tape the brown bag, used to amaze me as a kid and was probably the only good memory I have of that shop. I think you know what I am talking about - a small roller which holds the paper tape with "Nalli" printed on it at regular intervals. The tape is then rolled out and some part of it is made to go through a small wet roller and is then cut to a small strip size. This strip is then pasted on the brown bag as a seal. Simple stuff, but very impressive for a child!

Like they say, "All good things must come to an end" and I would further extend it and say that "All bad things also come to an end". Once we collected our bags and headed out through the blast of cold air that Nalli provides at its main entrance, I heaved a huge sigh of relief. Never before (and never again I hope) had the hot and humid weather of Chennai and the madness called Panagal Park and T. Nagar, felt more appealing, than at that moment.

For a more awesome report on a visit to Nalli, please read this.

The celebrity who comes to my gym

It is none other than the Tamizh movie star Vikram. Popularly known as Cheeyaan Vikram.

I saw him at the gym on Pongal day. And then today (Monday evening).

The guy looks quite lean - not thin, but lean. Is shorter than me too.

Today, I had the opportunity to be on an Elliptical trainer next to him. He was already on his 16th lap when I started mine. He must have spent close to 5 minutes after I started my workout and then got down. Not sure if my usage was bothering him or the fact that I completely ignored him, made him get down. But the truth could also be that he was simply done with that machine.

He then went off to do his Abs exercises. I too was scheduled to do it. But I was running out of time and so decided to skip that session.

Maybe, one of these days, if I so feel like it, I may greet him!

Bollywood gives the finger, after voting in Elections 2009

Yet another case of a picture speaking a thousand words. Or at least 2, if you know what I mean.

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And the worst part is this news article. If getting the indelible ink marked on your right index finger is a violation of the model code of conduct, then is it okay to put the mark on the middle finger of the left hand? If the polling officer who made the mistake with the Karnataka Chief Minister is reprimanded, I think the officer(s) who put the mark on these Bollywood stars, need(s) to be fired!

Client and Hyderabad Visit - Day 3 - 22/Oct/08

This day was marked entirely for sight-seeing. No official meetings had been setup for the clients. I just had a quick meeting with my team and then checked-out of the Guest House. By the time we finally got on the road outside our office, we were delayed by at least 45 minutes.

However, the place where we planned to go first had an even later opening time. The place called Shilparamam is basically a market where artisans and craftsman peddle their wares that ranged from stone carved dolls to jute bags to woodwork to clothing materials.

The makers have been given a place to stay within the campus and can sell their wares at designated shops that have been opened up for them. This in effect eliminates the various middlemen and so the cost of the product doesn’t bite our wallets.

The clients had a really great time buying stuff especially at the shop where woodwork was being sold. Each of them bought stuff for more than Rs.1500.

We then had lunch at some restaurant and then headed out to the Salar Jung Museum. By the time we reached that place, it was almost 2.30 PM. Since we were getting a little hard-pressed for time, we wanted to finish up visiting this museum quickly. Luckily, the Program Manager who was with us had a great contact inside the museum. His brother-in-law was thick friends with the Chief Security Officer of this museum.

In typical Sarkari Babu style, the Program Manager started showing his weight around to those on guard asking for the Chief Security Officer by his first name and then referring to his post. This did get us a lot of attention and we were soon escorted by a Policeman on duty. He started showing us around the museum. Within 5 minutes, another person who looked like the typical museum guide also came along. Turned out that he too was a cop, but one who was in street clothes. We told him our time constraint and since it was also nearing 3 PM, we had to watch that famous cuckoo clock at work. He assured that he would take us there in time and showed us around a few other rooms.

The museum is quite a big one and the collections inside are fantastic. My first thoughts before entering the museum was that only the things used by the Nizam dynasty would be on display. Only after entering a couple of the rooms did I realize that this was basically an exhibition of all things that the Nizams collected over the centuries. There were great stone idols of Hindu deities and exquisitely carved Hindu deities in wood. There was a really huge wood statue of Garuda made in Rosewood and there was also a very big (almost 6 feet by 6 feet) painting of the famous Geethopadhesham scene in the Kurukshetra battle.

Anyways, it was nearing 3 PM and so our guide hurried us in one direction. It was a small atrium sort of place inside the museum. There were a lot of iron chairs set in line, like what you’d find in the Railways Reservation Counter. There was a small corridor at one end of this atrium and this was actually at a higher level (or if you prefer, the atrium was at a lower level). There was a small 2 feet by 2 feet contraption placed on a table there and there were two projector screens on either side of it. This contraption was actually the famous cuckoo clock. I had expected a large grandfather type of clock, so it was a let-down.

The atrium must have been around 25 feet by 25 feet with this clock at one end. There was a gap of around 10 feet between this clock and the first row of chairs. When we reached this place, we wanted to settle into the chairs at the end that were empty. However, our guide asked us to come forward and there we saw 2 special chairs placed some 4 feet ahead of the regular chairs. We thought that they did something for the clients. But the guide asked the 2 of us as well to come to the front. Since it was getting very close to 3 PM, the crowd started murmuring and some even raised their voices asking us to sit down. The policeman brought 2 more chairs from somewhere and in effect the 4 of us were now given privileged seating very close to the clock.

It was then 3 ‘O clock and a small doll popped out from a door at one end of the clock, hit a gong-like thing thrice and then went back inside the door. Very honestly speaking, the whole thing was a big let-down for me. First of all, I expected a bigger clock based on all the descriptions I had heard before. So seeing a small clock was a little upsetting. And blaming myself, I assumed that there would be some elaborate show at the top of the hour like a bunch of soldiers marching out etc. I guess I went in with very high expectations and got let down.

Anyways, after the clock had made itself useless for another one hour, we were joined by 2 more policemen. These guys were also in “mufti” but they had the unmistakable air of a policeman and carried walkie-talkies with them. They took us to the room with the marble collection and showed us an amazing sculpture called the Veiled Rebecca. This is a white marble statue of a woman and is probably around 6 feet in height. From a distance of say even 3 feet, it looks like the statue has been draped in a piece of transparent cloth – like a veil. But get closer and you will realize that there is no such cloth. The sculptor has carved it in such a manner that the marble itself looks like a veil. This is a truly wonderful exhibit and a definite “Do not miss” category topper.

They then took us to various other sections of the museum and I was impressed by the ivory collection. They had chess sets made of ivory and were of different sizes. There were even variations in the form of Indian style, Japanese style, Burmese style etc. Special mention must also be made of the chinaware and the glassware on display. There were so many Gold rimmed cutlery and all these were marked as ones used for daily use!

All along, we had these policemen escorting us around. The only thing missing was a policeman with a rifle and that would have completed the “VIP” picture! Since it was getting late, we wrapped up the visit and thanked all the guides profusely. What really impressed me was that these policemen were well aware of the significance of each of these exhibits and were able to come out with a lot of information related to it.

We then had an even more hurried visit to the Chowmahalla Palace. This is quite a run-down palace and is actually not very impressive. We took all our mandatory pictures and then headed off to the airport.

At the airport, the clients and the Program Manager were on the same flight but I was on one scheduled to leave an hour later. My airline’s counter hadn’t even opened and so we spent some time chatting in the area before the Security checks happen. But the others had to leave and I was then waiting for the counter to open. This was when I realized how much I miss my phone. At such occasions, I’d either be forwarding messages, or playing some game on my mobile. But now, I was sitting in the waiting area quite literally twiddling my thumbs!

Finally the counter opened and I got my gate pass. After I crossed the Security check point, I ate some of the “cheap” airport food and then went to my gate. But due to the bad weather at Chennai, my flight and quite a lot of the others too, was delayed. There was no formal announcement and I learnt it by looking at the TV screen.

I was flying by Paramount Airlines which has earned a name for its “All Business Class” seats. I expected their service at the ground also to be that good, but it was far from that. Finally the flight took off an hour behind schedule. Amongst the many passengers in the flight was the irreplaceable S.P.Balasubramaniam. There was also the small time actor Raja (appeared in movies like Pudhu Vasantham, Karuthamma etc.).

I finally reached Chennai after a not so pleasant flight – there was some turbulence and I was not really happy with the Airlines’ claim of “All Business Class”. There was more legroom, but the rest of the seat was as cramped as an economy seat in any airline.

I reached home only by 11 and went to bed early since I had to pick up the clients at their hotel the next morning. But this travelogue ends now. If you have read this, Thanks!