How to drive away a Wasp

Two Saturdays back, I noticed a Wasp hovering around in my bathroom. Suspecting that wasps are voyeuristic, I shooed it away and closed the windows of the bathroom. I had noticed that the wasp had gone to a dark corner around the water heater and I checked it out. And I found that this creature had built up a 4 inch long “nest”.

I either had to risk breaking up that nest thereby letting lose some small wasps or I had to close the entry and exit for this wasp and let that nest wither away. The first option involved physical acts like stretching to reach a corner at an inaccessible height and on top of it, bracing oneself for stings from wasps. The second option simply necessitated the closing of the windows and door for the bathroom, though it had an inherent risk of asphyxiation. I chose the second option.

After about 10 days, I opened the windows and just two days later, last Saturday, I found the wasp flying inside the bathroom. Cursing my luck, I closed the windows again but within a couple of hours, I noticed the wasp flying around in my room even as I was undergoing a wardrobe change. Believe me, a wasp flying in the room while you are changing clothes is a scary thing. One can try to swat it, but then one runs the risk of letting it sting you. If you leave it alone, it could come harmlessly in our direction, but our senses get us to react badly and we would try running out of the room, an act that is quite impossible to perform when you have one leg inside one tube of your jammies as part of wearing it. Not that it happened to me, am just saying that it could happen to any of us.

Even today, the same wasp (what do I know, they all look the same) was flying around in one part of the room and I found that it had already built a small nest in one of the open shelves, where I had set aside some of my old and useless Cordless phones. I also saw that it was tagging along with it, a small green colored caterpillar like thingy – maybe it was its food or maybe it was part of its metamorphosis or whatever.

So, I now decided that I had to destroy the nest and send a clear message to the wasp that it had to look elsewhere to build its nest. I waited for nightfall and then bravely ventured near the nest. I rattled the phone a couple of times to ensure that there was nobody inside that nest. I even jiggled the wire on which that nest was attached and still found no sign of life. I bravely detached the wire from the phone and after a scary 20 seconds of trying to unwind the wire – part of the fear was that the green caterpillar like thingy may fall off the entrance hole of the nest and fall on my bed – I managed to pull out the wire along with the next. I dumped the whole set into my balcony and shut the door.

I am now hoping that the wasp won’t return, but just to avoid any unsavoury situation, can you please advise me on what I can do to prevent the wasp from entering my room; More importantly, the bathroom?

The Anniversary that coincides with India’s Republic Day

Today, on the 12th Anniversary of a great event in my life, the time has now come for me to officially document it in this blog. Some of you have heard me narrate the story and for the benefit of the few who haven’t, here is that very interesting event.

We first rewind to India’s first Republic Day of the new millennium – 26-Jan-2000. I was well into my 2nd year at work and it was also just more than a month since my family had purchased our first car – a Cyprus Blue coloured Maruti Suzuki 800 DX. I hadn’t gotten my permanent driving license as yet and was still on my learner’s license. Also, my car driving experience by itself was only 2 weeks more than my car owning experience. Given this situation, I used to drive the car at every opportunity, within my neighbourhood, to gain more experience and confidence.

On the date indicated above, two of my friends from school had dropped home. We then decided to go to the beach. Though the beach is barely 300 metres from home, I opted to take the car. And for reasons I just don’t remember or fathom, those two guys decided to take the bike and not come with me by car.

For such a short distance, it is always faster by bike and those two reached the beach first. I tried to get a parking spot near where they were standing, but couldn’t find one. So I had to drive down a little further, take a U-Turn and park on the other side of the road. When I reached the other side, I was driving slowly, looking for a parking spot. Also, I had my windows rolled down, probably because I didn’t want to use the AC for such a short distance.

Even as I was looking for a spot, some 2-3 guys ran across the road into the lane and appeared to be headed towards my car. One of them reached my car faster than his friends and punched my face! I just had no clue what was happening. Then they all asked me to step out of the car. I did and in a completely disoriented and nervous state, was asking them why there were hitting me. One of those guys was holding me by the scruff of my shirt/t-shirt and another one gave me one more slap.

I was barely aware of what was happening, when a crowd gathered around us. The 2-3 guys were hurling abuses at me and primarily accusing me of trying to run over them! I tried reasoning with them, but I think my voice box refused to pass on to the world, the words that my brain was sending to it.

All this while, the crowd around us was just enjoying their free entertainment for the Holiday. Thankfully, mobile phones especially those with cameras weren’t sold for dime a dozen, else, I would by now be on You Tube.

Anyways, out of the blue, two policemen, on a TVS Champ, came towards this gathering. The crowd finally swung into some action and dispersed. The 2-3 guys also ran away. Being the major சமத்து (innocent) guy that I am, I suddenly got worried that the cops would ask me for my license and on seeing my learner’s license, would probably take me into custody. So, I ended up doing a non-innocent act and fled the scene in my car. 

While you may be engrossed in the narration, feeling sorry for me (or more likely be ROFL), your attention should now be directed towards the two friends of mine, who have been absent from the narrative for the past 2000 words. They now make a re-entry.

When I reached home, I stopped a few meters short my gate, primarily to examine the damage to my face. Just then, my two friends came nearby on their bike and asked me what happened. They patiently heard me narrate the incident. With their support, it was now easier for me to enter my home. My parents obviously got the shock of their life seeing their son with a big blue patch around the right eye and a completely reddened face. We went over the story once again and that is where, I found out more about what happened.

Apparently, after I crossed my friends at the beach, they saw some 2-3 guys walking near the road in a very inebriated condition. A blue coloured car had gone past them and they were miffed by the proximity it had with them. These guys had seen the car go further down, couldn’t track where it really went and when they suddenly saw a similar (similar; not same) coloured car (mine) in the opposite direction, the alcohol in their blood stream made them decide that it was me who had almost run them over.

You would still be wondering why my friends didn’t come over to help. Basically, they first saw me go by; then saw this near-accident and then, they were just chatting and looking elsewhere (at someone I suspect). They saw the crowd gathering a few seconds/minutes later and had no clue that I was there in middle. In fact, they seemed to be looking out for me in some other direction. Only when they saw the crowd disperse and spotted my car also speeding away, did they realise that I too had something to do with that gathering!

Needless to say, they were continuously chuckling while narrating their side of the story.
I was then taken to the Doctor, who gave me some medicines and did some basic cleaning of the external wounds. My colleagues at work had a tough time in accepting that someone as innocent as me could get such beatings, though my boss strongly suspected (in front of my colleagues) that I got whacked by a girl’s sandals.

So there it is; Yours Truly has been a victim of a public beating also known as தர்ம அடி. 

Potato Potahto

I was at the gym on Saturday evening - yes, I have renewed my Gym membership in order to allow them to make some profits and create more employment opportunities, but I digress as usual.

While I was doing my stretches, I spotted one of the trainers

I don't think I'd survive in Marketing and Sales

Last week, my Department conducted a road-show type of event across the Organization. The purpose of the event was to create an awareness amongst the employees, that Software Testing offered an attractive career in the IT industry. This purpose, was however, the official version. The real reason was mainly to entice those working in other Departments to move to ours.


Since this event was conducted under the auspices of the Organization's senior management, we were allowed to send mailers to everyone, hold some online competitions, create stalls etc. The Stalls were setup with volunteers - comprising of senior managers of the Department - who could be approached to clarify any doubts about Software Testing.

Of course, since my Department was the solely focused on doing only Software Testing, we were allowed to showcase a lot of cool stuff that we do - like creating tools to automate some testing work etc. So, we even had pamphlets printed out and these were to be handed out to the visitors. There was even a small corner at the stalls where we asked the visitors to just fill out a questionnaire and participate in a lucky draw. They all got some candies while filling out the questions too. If this whole setup reeks of what you see in a real estate property fair, truth be told, it was no different.

I too was one of the volunteers

What level of the Seven-Year Itch do I have?

Many of you may feel bored while reading my blog and I am finally able to empathize with you. But, my boredom is not really from reading my writing and is more due to my work or rather, the lack of it.

I am keeping this post simple

The elevator that traps my family

Last Saturday – the 29^th of January – my mother had a rather severe bout of food poisoning. I took her to the nearby clinic for treatment and the Doctors advised that she be admitted for observation immediately. The primary reason was a fall in the BP level and also because of the severe dehydration, they wanted to administer fluids (and medicines) by IV means.

An hour or so after the IV administration started, the staff said that I should get her something bland to eat. I called up my father and asked him to prepare some curd rice. Since the clinic was barely 3 minutes from home, I gave some time for my father to get things ready and I then started from the room where my mother was admitted.

The room was in the third floor and the clinic was having some kind of renovation work going on. So, I opted to take the elevator/lift in lieu of walking through debris. It was an old elevator and had the collapsing diamond iron gate and not the closed door type. I got inside the elevator, closed both the gates

Sherwa(r)ni

Last Friday, the 22nd of October, we were requested by our Unit HR at work, to come dressed in "Ethnic Wear" to the office. Such requests do happen once  a month or once in two months and this one was pretty much the first one by our Unit folks in a long time.

I usually don't take part in these events, because I don't have that many options of "Ethnic Wear" at my disposal. I have one Sherwani that I last wore for such an event in Jan 2007 and it is lying inside my cupboard ever since. The only other option is to wear a vaeshti (dhoti), but I am always under a constant fear that when I wear it, the Fall season would start because (a) I would trip and fall or worse, (b) The vaeshti would fall off.

When this "Ethnic Wear" request came up this time, I decided to let the Sherwani see the light of the day, since it has been lying inside my cupboard, wrapped in the very bag that the Dry Cleaners had returned it to me, in Jan 2007. However, I was afraid if I would fit into it and so checked it the previous night. Thankfully, I did fit into it. But I anticipated issues in me being able to stay in it for the whole day at work, because the material was not 100% cotton. So, I packed a spare set of regular clothing in the form of my Jeans and a T-Shirt.

On Friday, I went to the office in the Sherwani, and I must admit that when I went to the Food Court for breakfast, I did get more than my usual share of stares from the members of the opposite sex. At one point I even heard some cat calls, but I quickly realized that it was the ring tone in someone's mobile.

When I went towards my cubicle, a couple of my team members who were standing elsewhere, actually came up to me to see if it really was me! And I got quite a few compliments that it looked good. Some of them were slightly smarter enough to say that I looked very good in it. Someone else first almost guffawed, but quickly recovered himself and said that I looked some 5 years younger! So, he basically complimented me once and ridiculed me twice in a span of 5 seconds (If you are keeping count, the compliment was that I looked younger and the ridicule was the near-guffaw and the fact that he thinks that I am actually old!). My boss even said that I looked like a Groom and I told him that I am treating this as my dress-rehearsal.

But all these compliments aside, there are somethings absolutely uncomfortable in a Sherwani. First of all, the dupatta/Stole or whatever it is called. While it certainly adds some color to the costume, maintaining it one the body is quite difficult. You have to ensure that it is hanging equally on both sides of your shoulder. Or, it should be properly wrapped once around your neck without strangling you. And in any case, irrespective of how you place it, once you sit down, one of its ends somehow manages to find its way into the casters of the chair and you would likely be strangled when you turn around or when you move the chair.

You can overcome the problem with the casters, by placing it on the table while sitting. But, the sitting itself is the next problem. You see, the way the Sherwani is designed, the leg portion of it is rather tight to avoid making it look like a pyjama. And yet, the upper portion of it is pretty much at the same shape and patter as the regular pyjama. This design, my friends, makes it extremely difficult to sit. Because, the tighter portion of the costume, actually starts around the knees. And due to the "tightness", there is way too much pressure on the slightly looser upper segment of the same piece of clothing. This means that you cannot simply plonk yourself onto a chair and have to gracefully ease yourself into that piece of furniture. If you sit down in any other fashion, those around you may hear a Big Rip! 

BUT, the real big problem with the Sherwani, is the sheer inconvenience it brings to the wearer, when the wearer has to make use of a restroom. Irrespective of whether you are inside for minor reasons or major, the sheer number of pieces of garments that need to be aligned properly, makes it imperative that you reach the venue slightly earlier than your regular routine. In fact, you need to strategise what you eat and how much of liquid you drink, so that the trips to the restroom can be well regulated and planned out as well.

So, in my opinion, this costume must be worn when you know for sure that it would not be on you for more than say 2 hours and also, when you don't have to sit that much. Its purpose is to make you look good and it sure does. So, my suggestion would be to go with a friend to a shop that sells costly Sherwanis. Try out one of them and get your friend to take pictures when you come out of the changing room. Then tell the shop guys that you didn't like it!

Dont be silly, it was just a visit to Nalli

Last Friday (10th Sep.), my parents dragged me along to a place created solely for the purpose of punishing mankind. And by mankind, I am not talking about the human race per se. I am referring strictly to the "man"kind. If you are still not clear what I mean, I can bet that you are either a woman or you are a man still reeling under the impact of a recent visit to Nalli.

And just in case the owners of Nalli happen to chance upon this blog and find it offensive, let me clarify that by saying Nalli, I refer to all these textile shops, a.k.a "javulli kadai" in local parlance. You can clearly see that, thanks to my visit to Nalli, my cognitive abilities have been compromised and now, instead of being sued by one shop, the whole of T. Nagar is going to be up in arms against me.

I was made to visit this shop because (a) we wanted to kill some time before heading out to a matrimonial registration office and (b) my mother had to buy some sarees. For those of you who have not visited Nalli during the off-season, please be advised that it is ridiculous to think that the shop is crowded only during on-season. The difference between off-season and on-season is simple - during the latter, there are 4 ladies trying to get hold of the same saree whereas during the former, only 3 are competing for the same item. The other main contributor to this is that the off-season lasts for probably 5 hours during the month of Purattaasi.

As we entered the great Nalli shop opposite Panagal Park, we were first presented with the "Parking Full" signboard at the gate. Like most normal people, I assumed that the parking lot was indeed full and more than the assumption, it was a valid excuse for me to swing away from the shop. However, I didn't realize that there was a Nalli specialist inside the car - my mother.

She just told me to proceed through the gate and drop them off there. Her reasoning was that they always put up that board too drive away someone who is trying to simply use their parking space. I proceeded to follow her instructions and stopped the car after entering the gates. While my parents were getting down, I was slightly distracted by a girl in a Pink salwar and had become deaf to whatever the Security guard was telling me.

After a couple of "Saar....Saar" sounds that initially appeared to come from a distant planet, I realized that someone was actually addressing me. It was the Security guard who simply asked me to try my luck in their parking lot that was at the back of their shop. I moved my car reluctantly, though in hindsight, am not sure if the reluctance was because I was moving away from what looked to be a promising sight or if it was because there seemed to be no escaping the Nalli visit.

I was then guided by some parking attendants, dressed as security guards though, to a vacant spot somewhere in the extremities of the shop. I walked back to the shop to find my parents waiting at the entrance and we proceeded to make a verb of that noun.

Once inside the shop, we were greeted with the quintessential montage of Nalli - light brown lighting interspersed with bright yellow focus lights, people of all shapes in groups of varied sizes, awesome Air-conditioning and sad men. But not all men were sad. While a significant number of men in the shop were sad, quite a few of the lucky ones were rushing to pay their obeisance to the shop so that they could get out and the rest were in a state as being somewhere between unconsciousness and deep sleep.

And then of course, were the male employees who, in the eyes of a raging teenager, may have the world's best job, but who in those same eyes some 5 years later, become an extremely pitiable species.

My mother actually made some real quick selection of sarees, once she reached her desired "section" - the section being "Bengal Cotton". I did my best to not participate in the whole selection process, but she insisted that I pick something. And I quite literally picked up the one at the top of the pile on display. She liked the color and the design and I thought I could now escape further participation by virtue of having selected one. However, she was so impressed with my selection, that she asked to select the next one too.

Grudgingly, I did pick one more and declared clearly that I wouldn't be selecting any more. Then came the whole "blouse matching" episode. This activity is precisely what the learned folks once said, "You cant fix a square hole in a round peg" or something to that effect. That is because, the whole effort is now to match the colors made using completely different set of pigments, using completely different set of procedures and finally ending up on a completely different material.

But the deed had to be done and it was done. However, I stayed away from doing actual work and tried to take some much rest by sitting on the mini cane chairs placed in the middle of the floor. I must add that the placement was quite strategic in that while you are seated, you get the impression that you are actually resting, but it is still close enough for the person doing the matching work to be able to constantly bombard you with questions around how good the match is.

Anyways, my mother was done with most of her selection and my father then goaded her into buying one more saree. She now decided to go to some other section and I was then given the enviable task of carrying the already selected items and placing them near one of the billing counters. Turns out, that shops like Nalli, actually have a dedicated "Credit Card Counter" and so, I went to place the items on that table. But I was a bit skeptical that someone else may actually bill those items and take them along. Even as I was standing there contemplating this possibility, a helpful Nalli representative approached me. He would have seen similar facial expressions on the numerous children who I am sure, get lost routinely at that shop. When I told him about my confusion, he asked me as to why would someone pay for someone else's purchase.

I thought that maybe there's a shopper's code of integrity or some such thing, whereby once items reach the billing counter, others would not try to poach on them. I then proceeded to join my mother and once again, I helped her in picking up another saree. Then the whole "matching" process started and this time, we were directed to some other section of the shop which was at the third floor of their annexe building which had an entry from the main store itself.

After winding through some stairs and floors, we finally completed the task at this new section and started our return trip to the aforementioned "Credit Card Counter". En route, I saw the same pink salwar girl I mentioned earlier in this narrative. I then recognized her as the Vijay TV compere, Ramya. This Ramya, from whatever little I have seen on TV, was quite plump, but in person, was not so. I tried pointing her to my mother, but by the time she understood what I was trying to say, the celebrity had gone off somewhere in the maze.

We went on to the billing process, where there was the usual "might is right" pushing and shoving by everyone to get their billing done first. I finally got mine done after signing the credit transaction slips and also the merchant copy of the invoice! I was afraid that the guy manning the counter may ask me to sign some ledger, but thankfully, he didn't

Our goods were then packed in the traditional Nalli method of first putting them in a brown bag and sealing it with a paper tape. That method to tape the brown bag, used to amaze me as a kid and was probably the only good memory I have of that shop. I think you know what I am talking about - a small roller which holds the paper tape with "Nalli" printed on it at regular intervals. The tape is then rolled out and some part of it is made to go through a small wet roller and is then cut to a small strip size. This strip is then pasted on the brown bag as a seal. Simple stuff, but very impressive for a child!

Like they say, "All good things must come to an end" and I would further extend it and say that "All bad things also come to an end". Once we collected our bags and headed out through the blast of cold air that Nalli provides at its main entrance, I heaved a huge sigh of relief. Never before (and never again I hope) had the hot and humid weather of Chennai and the madness called Panagal Park and T. Nagar, felt more appealing, than at that moment.

For a more awesome report on a visit to Nalli, please read this.

I need counseling

As I may have chronicled in this blog, I have the option of working out of any one of the two locations where my office has opened shop. The option is not really official, but more of an agreement with my bosses, who have been kind enough to permit this luxury.

But of late, I have been using the slightest of opportunities to work out of the office closer home. With every passing day, it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to commute to the office farthest from home. The commute is taking up 3-4 hours daily and I am simply not able to take it mentally and physically.

However, I am also feeling guilty that I am abusing an option that has been given to me. My bosses can simply tell me to limit the number of times I visit the office closer home or worse, simply revoke the privilege. Would I end up killing the goose that has been laying the golden egg?

What scares me more is the fact that at a sub-conscious level, I seem to be tuning myself away from the main location of work. Just look at this: Last Friday, my alarm woke me up at 5:30 as usual. But in what is a first for me, I simply reset the alarm to an hour later, with the plan to go to the office closer home and resumed my sleep. And yesterday (Monday), I again got up at 5:30 and even made it to the bus stop. But, I was 5 minutes late and had missed the bus. On previous occasions that I've missed the bus, I usually take my car and go to office. But this time, I took the car and simply went to the office closer home. And to top all of this, this morning (Tuesday), I again got up at 5:30. I've been feeling a little queasy due to a slight bout of acidity and I actually used that as an excuse and didn't even go to office today.

So basically, the very fact that I need to travel that far has made me tune myself out. But is it just the commute that is causing me to behave like this or is there something else deeper to look into? I need counseling.

The summer of '88 - part 3

Continued from this post...

The opponents came out to bat and their batsmen had a jolly good time for the next 30 overs, which was where the innings typically concluded in these matches. And when I say jolly good time, I mean it in a very polite manner.

To be honest, we were hammered around the park. Remember India batting against Bermuda in 2007 World Cup? This was pretty much the same thing. I don't remember my bowling figures nor the number of runs they scored in total, but all I know is that the former was quite bad and the latter was alarmingly bad for us.

When our turn came to bat, we were able to prove to them that our batting skills were as bad as our bowling skills. We must have been bundled out in 15-20 overs I think. And I didn't do well with the bat either - I was a lower middle-order batsman - and till date, I feel that I got a bad decision.

Just on that day, my regular bat was being used by the non-striker and I had to take some other bat, which was much lighter than the one I was used to. And for some reason, the non-striker refused to part with my bat even when my turn came - he said he was scoring well with it!

Anyways, I had gone on the back-foot to work an off-spinner to the square-leg for a quick run. But by virtue of having a lighter bat, I seemed to have completed my stroke much earlier than the ball arrived. And when it arrived, it hit me on the thigh pad of my left leg. I thought that the ball was going down the leg side and that it was also high.

But the umpire preferred to hold a different opinion and ruled me LBW. That day, I felt cheated and that is also the reason why I am able to remember so many justifications as to why I got into the position wherein I could be given out and also why I should still have not been given out.

The only good thing about the whole match was that all of us sucked. Really sucked. But then, our affluent team-mate took us inside MAC. By inside, I mean into the actual playing field. We were taken close to the pitch and were allowed to generally wander around the outfield. He then took us to the pavilion area and showed us around the gym. He took us to a restaurant there and all of us had some sandwich and juice. All on his tab - his father's tab rather.

We came back to school and all the eager followers wanted to know what happened. And all that we could narrate was our trip into the MAC grounds and not really about the thrashing that we got in the match.

And that I think was the last match I played for my school. The following year, when I was in class IX, I somehow didn't participate much in cricket or basically have no proper memory. And once class X came up, my parents realized that my cricketing skills weren't good enough to compensate for my average academic performance.

So, that's how my cricketing life came to an end at school. I never played any formal cricket until I joined work some 10 years later. Those were interesting times too and I can also never forget the real competitive cricket I played in the USA. I am saving those stories for some other rainy day.

The summer of '88 - Part 2

Contd. from this post...

The shock was that the entire ground was flooded with water. It was one huge pond there and not a cricket ground. The flooding was because of the rains I had mentioned in my previous post.

So, we just waited there for the umpires and opponents to show up. The umpires did show up, but the opponents did not. After waiting for some mandatory period, the umpires informed us that by virtue of being physically present at the venue and in the absence of the opponent team, we were given a "walk-over" to the next round.

We all returned happily to school, though the happiness was mainly around the travel in the luxury car and the fact that we could brag to people around us about our entry to the second round.

Our next match was scheduled in a couple of days' time and in the meanwhile, we came to know that all the other U-15 teams of our school had been eliminated in the first round itself! That came as quite a bit of shock to us, primarily because our school has always had a pretty good reputation in the cricketing circles. On top of that, the A team that was formed was indeed quite strong and hence all of us were in real shock.

Anyways, our next match-day came up and this time around the match was scheduled in the "nearby" ground of TI Cycles, Ambattur. Once again, we all set out in that great car and were once again presented with a ground in a rather bad state thanks to the rains in the interim period. Lady luck favored us again and this time too, it was only the umpires who showed up and not our opponents. We were through to the next round, once again due to "walk-over".

When the news spread to the less knowledgeable circles in the school that the U-15 D team was through to Round 3, there was a general admiration at this achievement. Those who had a more inquisitive mindset wanted to know the scores of the match and that was usually where we got busted. But, we didn't care and simply moved on.

Believe it or not, the third match was at the same venue after a couple of days and the story simply repeated itself. We were now through to the 4th round without even having to call heads-or-tails in the preceding three rounds.

At this point, we started becoming the laughing stock. We could no longer take refuge under this slew of walk-overs and wanted to play an actual match. I think we prayed at the wrong time, because the next match was against one of the best, if not the best, cricketing schools in Chennai. And adding to our woes, the rains started disappearing too.

Our 4th round match was scheduled at MAC 'B' ground. This ground is on the same compound as the M.A.Chidambaram Stadium at Chepauk, Chennai. We were now extremely proud that we got a match in THE cricket stadium of Chennai.

We reached the venue on time. And for the first time in 4 matches, we were greeted by an opponent team. The umpires also came around and we were all set for the match to start. I was always penned down for the final playing XI and that was the case this time as well. And I used to open the bowling for my team too, though I was always the one to bowl the second over.

The toss was won by our opponents and they opted to bat first. Or in local parlance, they wanted the first gaajee.

To be continued...

The summer of '88

As should be evident to those who experience the current weather in Chennai or follow the same through other sources of information, this August has been quite vague. For that matter, most of the formal summer season (April-August is the formal summer. All other months are the informal summer.) this year has been like this.

There are the usual hot and humid days of course, but there have also been a lot of rains in this period. Typically, we only get a short spell of two of rains during these months and even that is most often due to some cyclonic storm forming in the Bay of Bengal.

But this year, the weather in Chennai seems to be moving from Tropical to Equatorial. Every hot day or a couple of hot days, is invariably followed by a heavy spell of rain. And this spell has sometimes lasted for 2-3 days.

While the doomsday believers may attribute this to the end of the world and the more informed ones may blame Global Warming for this, the only thoughts I have are of a similar weather pattern that Chennai experienced in the year 1988.

Want to know why I remember that year more than any other? Long story.....

In the years 1987-1988, I was an active cricketer in my school. I was a constant part of the Under-12 and Under-13 cricket teams. Not that I was someone extraordinary on the field, but was more like the Manoj Prabhakar or Ravindra Jadeja type of player – players who basically seem to be able to do many things, but in reality are not really good at anything!

In 1988, I was in Class XIII and therefore, was eligible to play for the Under-15 team. While many had to undergo selections, those of us in the U-12 and U-13 teams were automatically moved into the U-15 teams. I say U-15 teams because there were usually 2-3 teams every year.

When the final list for the U-15 teams of that year were announced (pasted on the notice board to be precise), I saw that there were 4 teams – A, B, C and D. The teams seemed to have been formed based on the principle that the A team was the best and the D team was the worst. And guess which team I was on?

If you said D because you think that's where I should belong based on the details I shared earlier about my skills, well you are right. Except that you are wrong. My name was not in the D team list. So, do you think there is an anti-climax here and thought I was on the A team? Wrong again, because I was not. So, do you think I was the average dude and hence got placed in either the B or the C teams?

Ha ha ha... Wrong again. To cut another potentially long paragraph short, my name was not listed at all. All my fellow U-12 and U-13 players were in the A or B teams, while my name was not listed anywhere. I hurriedly checked with the PT master who directed me to our trusted marker, Ravi. Ravi realized the mistake and was wondering where to slot me.

His thinking process was along these lines:
Team A is quite strong and this guy probably didn't belong there. Team B and C seem to be okay too, so let me not disturb that. Team D seems to be doomed anyway and maybe I will simply add his name to the list.

And so he did.

Quite soon, the TNCA Under-15 tournament started and we got our first match scheduled at the YMCA grounds Nandanam. I don't remember the date of the match, but I do remember traveling in the Standard 2000 car of one of the guys in my team, to the venue. This guy was my classmate and a really rich guy. Most of us in school came from normal middle-class backgrounds and traveling by a car was a luxury suited for the rich kids. And we sure as hell were in awe whenever this guy used to come to school in a Standard 2000 car, which is an iconic car that was far ahead of its time in India.

Anyways, we all reached the venue and were in for some shock.

To be continued.....

80K to 2K in 7 years

More than 7 years ago, I returned to India after spending the previous 3 years in the City of Angels a.k.a Los Angeles.

As part of the settling back process in India, I wanted to go in for a big screen television set. A 29" TV, at that time, was considered to be a slightly up-market item and since I was the typical "US-returned" guy, I sure wanted to own one.

So, I dragged my folks along to the Sony World showroom in R.A.Puram and looked around for big screen TVs. They had one 29" TV with Picture-In-Picture and I decided to go for it.

The problem, as my parents saw it, was the TV cost almost Rs.80,000.00. Yes, Rupees Eighty Thousand only. But in my thought process I was, like, "Haey, that's just $2,000.00". And much to the chagrin of my parents, I was very firm on buying it. And I did.

Please note that it was a regular picture-tube based TV and not any of those LED/LCD/Projector TVs that had started making their appearance in the market. But all that I saw in those initial days of returning from the US, was having lot of money and some freedom to spend it!

We have had that TV till today. It was very much in working condition till about a couple of years back, when a small patch of green started appearing in the left bottom corner of the screen. It wouldn't really be visible, unless the program being watched had an image in white color in that area. The Sony service folks couldn't do anything about it and so we just let it be.

Around that time, I decided to have a second TV and got me a Panasonic. This one too was a 29", but cost me only Rs.17,000.00. So, the Sony was left in the first floor of my house for the occasional viewing. That too, was done mainly by my mother, who after the "thief incident", stopped going upstairs except to sleep.

So, the TV was lying idle for more than a year and a couple of months back, we found that it even refused to switch on. The Sony service guy checked it and said that it was time to scrap it. And that, at best, we could get around Rs.2,000.00.

We checked with some of the guys who buy used TVs and the best offer we got was Rs.2,000.00. So, finally, the great Sony 29" 80K INR TV was sold off for a whopping amount of 2K INR.

I have learnt my lesson very well. There is no point in spending that much money for any of these electronic equipment because there is absolutely no return for the investment. And worse, the cost of the product drops sharply every month and even worse, they drop sharper the minute I buy something.

I have pretty much stuck to that resolution and would of course be breaking it when the Apple iPhone 4 gets officially launched in India soon.

The mini pilgrimage in March 2010 – Day 0

After a lot of pleading, hinting, cajoling, guiding, recommending, suggesting, nudging etc., I finally relented and agreed to make the long pending visit to Thirumanachery. To those of you who are not aware about the significance of this town, please be advised that a visit to the Shivan kovil in this town and doing the special poojai there, will help in ending the “single” marital status of an indvidual.

I had been asked to go to this place by countless people and now that I think about it, I don't think any of them actually got married after going through the routine that they advise me. But, I finally decided to take their suggestion in good faith and a trip was finally planned. We were to visit that temple of the 4th of March and return by the morning of March 6th, since I had a project party to partake in. 

The tour almost didnt happen, because of the health of my parents. My father was having another bout of amoebiasis and my mother had a small kitchen accident which caused a 3" diameter burn mark near her right elbow. But both of them were quite particular that this trip not be delayed, because they didn't want to bow down to any obstacle to a trip being planned with the main purpose of removing obstacles! 

So there we were opposite the Thiruvanmiyur bus stand at 10:40 PM on the 3rd of March, waiting for the Rathimeena bus scheduled to arrive at 11:05 PM. My dear friend Raghu had dropped us at the bus stand. Thankfully, we didnt make him wait, because the bus finally showed up a few minutes before midnight. 

This was the first time I was travelling on this bus and I must admit that it was good. I had opted for a semi-sleeper AC bus for this trip, though my lack of knowledge in this area meant that I didnt book their full-sleeper bus. The seats were quite comfortable, the AC was in full swing, we were given fresh blankets and there was also a supply of packaged water. 

The bus left the Thiruvanmiyur area a few minutes after midnight. Despite the relatively comfortable environment, I did have trouble falling asleep. It was primarily because I am not that used to sleeping in a bus unless I am really really tired. I was having a broken sleep and when the bus started slowing down at a place which I found out to be a petrol bunk in Pondichery, we took the usual toilet break. The time by then was 2 AM. 

The journey resumed in around 15 minutes and after more rounds of broken sleep, I finally heard some announce that the bus was in Mayavaram. When I checked the clock it was 5:00 AM. So the entire elapsed time was around 5 hours, with an actual travel time of just 4 hours 45 minutes. That, by Indian standards was quite fast! 

Day 1 updates in the next post.

Back from a break

Dear readers - my apologies for not being active in this blog for the last 5 weeks.
The reason is primarily due to the change in my routine over the weekend, when I usually blog. With the gym visit being thrown in on the weekend, I usually end up finishing my lunch only around 2 PM. And after that, I am rarely in the mood to blog.
Moreover, I don't think anything blog-worthy has happened in my life. I do agree that most of my posts have been ramblings of the most mundane events in my day. But, of late, the interest in logging them has also come down drastically. That could also be due to the absolute lack of comments to most of my posts. You can argue that I didn't write anything that warranted a comment and my counter is still going to be that the absence of comments - good or bad - made me lose interest in writing!
Anyways, I hope to get out of the shell soon and the first thing I am going to do is to publish my latest travelogue - of my 2 day trip to the neighborhood of Mayavaram on the 4th and 5th of March. And I request you to comment on the posts.

A brief history of the events in my life in the last 3-4 weeks

* Picked up a neck sprain in the first week of October. Self-medication with pain relieving gels and ointments didn't work. An Ortho' prescribed tablets, but to no avail. Registered 5 days of leave in October alone. Second opinion took me to a scan centre for an MRI. After the wallet became thinner by Rs.5,500 an obvious fact was documented - I am fat! Doing some basic stretch exercise which have definitely alleviated the pain. I am better.
Root cause - posture while operating the computer and while traveling.

* MRI scan is a 15 minute torture on the ears. The noise that the machine makes is very loud and quite irritating. And while I was inside the chute, I somehow felt nervous.

* Have been going more often to the office closer home to avoid the long distance commute.

* Had a rather quiet birthday. Some friends and team-members did organise a cake-cutting event in the evening and I had a tough time convincing them to stick to my principles of not wasting cake by smearing it on the face.

* Celebrated a very quiet Deepavali, though the officials seemed to hold a different opinion. Either I became deaf or my town has been moved out of Chennai!

* Seeing many resignations in the company at all levels. 2 in my team have quite in Sep-Oct. I have a feeling that a couple of more are due.

* I cleared all the exams mandated at work for a promotion and have been given strong indications that there are no slots for my band of employees! If it is available, I am not eligible. If I am eligible, it is not available!

* Learnt that murungaikkai is used in an oorugaai.

* Attended an awesome spectacle called Annaabhishekham at the Ratnagirishwarar temple near home. Refer pictures here.





* The rainy season finally started in Chennai last week. Pretty heavy rain. Saturday was non-stop. Memories of last year, when we witnessed a similar incessant downpour, came up.

* Nothing else of any significance. Hope to resume blogging with earlier frequency at the earliest. Have been staying away just to avoid spending long hours in front of the computer.

I survived Nalli

Actually, I want to make it clear up front that I have nothing against Nalli, other than the fact that it is located in T.Nagar. This post and the title would have resulted even if I'd visited any Saree selling shop. And if I'd probably visited Pothy's or some such enterprise, nothing would be left of me to post anything ever again.

It all started because I sold my Maruti 800 last month. This meant that for the 2009 Deepavali shopping in my family, I had to do the driver duty. And the day selected to formally initiate the shopping was today.

When the weather forecast indicated that I was to drive to T.Nagar, I made a deal with my parents that we should go in the morning itself to avoid the rush. Things went according to plan and we were there at Nalli by 10 AM. Surprisingly, I got a parking space within the premises of the shop itself.

A point to be noted here is that I haven't gone to Nalli for many years now. I wont be surprised if it is a decade in fact. I am, of course, referring to the Nalli at Panagal Park.

But the minute I entered, I realised that this place hadn't changed much. I was proven wrong once we entered the upper levels of this shop. First of all, I have only vague memories of going upstairs. And the vague became vaguer once we were pointed to some side entrances and additional floor space. It was like a Universe within a Universe.

The floor layout of the shop may have changed. But its customers don't seem to have changed much. There were clearly, more women than men and I can classify them thus:

Women:
1. Excited young girls getting their first Saree
2. Youngsters trying to get a Saree to wear on very special family functions
3. Office-going young-to-middle-ageing women buying Saree to wear on special office functions
4. Middle-aged aunties in jeans and t-shirt (with eyeglasses above the forehead) trying to buy something to prove that they are still Indians
5. Middle-aged women going through the ritual of buying stuff for festivals
6. Older women doing the same

Men:
1. Bored husbands
2. Bored sons
3. Bored brothers
4. Bored drivers
5. Bored cousins
6. You can repeat the above set by replacing "Bored" with "Exhausted", "Confused", "Frustrated" and "Scared".

Seriously, the only happy men inside the shop would be the owners. No one else.

And the women! My goodness. The Saree shop seems to be a level-playing field for all types of women because they all want do the same thing - nudging each other to catch a good spot near a pile of Sarees; Playing small mind games on each other by passing bad remarks on some Saree; Asking for something and then saying that they asked for something else altogether; Using complicated technical analysis on the Saree material; Asking their male accomplices for an opinion that they are anyway going to ignore; Yet, making the male accomplice feel as if he had a say in the whole decision!!!

Yikes! If there is one thing that is really great about being a grown-up single man, it is the fact that one doesn't have to frequent Saree shops that often. Once a year and you are all set.

I am sure that most men have experienced such exasperating moments in their lives. But at least you have to go through this pain a few times a year. Spare a thought for the salesperson at the shop who has to do this for literally every day of his adult life! And the people at Nalli seem to be hardened professionals. Some of them actually indulged in banter with the customers! God save them!

I request the reader to also go through this post from Raghu.

I was warned by a Security guard in a mall

First of all, hope you all had a good Vijayadashami.

Second of all, if you thought that I was warned for leering at women or moving around in a suspicious manner or whatever, well you have to wait till I fill out the historical events leading to the said warning.

Today marked the opening of a new mall in Chennai which claims to be one of the biggest in Chennai in some category or the other! It is the Ampa Skywalk mall.

There was an article in The Hindu a few days back about the planned inauguration on Vijayadashami, which is today. Raghu and I christened this mall as pu.pu.ka - Putham Pudhu Kadamai. For those of you who dont remember, pa.ka is Pazhaya Kadamai and represents Spencers and pu.ka is Pudhu Kadamai and stands for City Center.

Anyways, we went to the mall and found that the place was very much under construction. That is to say, the infrastructure was ready, but the shops weren't. Kinda like the cliched phrase "Operation success; Patient dead".

The whole place was basically getting ready with a dais and arranged chairs - a clear indication that some kinda formal inauguration meeting was going to be held. My boss' husband is an architect and worked on this mall. After reaching the mall, I checked with her to find out if any celebrity was expected for this function. She said that Maddy could show up. I asked if Tamanna was expected and she couldn't quite confirm that.

Since there then was no point in staying there, we left the place and decided to head to Ispahani Center for a change. While we were there, Raghu and his wife went to one of the fancy-high-priced-up-market leather goods shop to look out for something. I stepped in to the shop and felt totally out of place. So I came out and decided to wait for them.

While waiting outside, I was leaning on the rail that they have put up to avoid people falling into the atrium. And I was leaning by resting my body against the rail and also had my right leg up on one of the lower rails.

A security guard was walking around and he came towards me. It was clear that he was going to say something and I knew he that he was going to say something objectionable. And he came near me and said "Railings-ல கால் வெக்க கூடாது Sir" (Don't keep your foot on the railings Sir). I asked him why? He only smirked and said "வெக்க கூடாதுன்னு சொல்லிருக்காங்க Sir" (They have said that one should not keep foot on the railings Sir) and then moved away.

I was in a relatively good mood and took my foot away. Luckily Raghu also came out by then and we headed out.

And, that was the warning I got from a Security guard in a mall.

Once again, wish all of you had a good Vijayadashami today!

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

I don't know about Jack, but as someone who shares the first two letters of Jack's first name, I think all work and no play is making me dull. And sick too.

I see a clear increase in the quantum of work that has started coming my way, in the office. This is especially because my boss was out sick for the last two weeks and was out on personal reasons a couple of weeks earlier.

I have been working slightly extended hours anyways and the peak really started from the 18th. On the weekdays between the 18th and 24th, I have clocked around 12 hours on an average. I have also had two night-outs - Friday and Monday - till dawn of the next morning.

All this has taken a toll on my health. I haven't gone to office from Tuesday to the rest of the week. At first, it was the RSI related pain in my right wrist. I took a day off to rest the hand. But I have been carrying a cold for quite some time and that too flared up.

At the outset, it does look like I am taking 4 days of leave just because I "worked" for a week. But I think the last week was probably just the proverbial last straw that broke the camel's back.

I clearly have to work better or smarter and more importantly, take better care of my health. Hiding away from exercise under the excuse of mental exhaustion does get many a nod of approval, but I have to stop using that excuse. It is really time for me to wake up!

How did you handle this situation?

There is a person in my team, who is currently on the last leg of a special performance assessment. The special performance assessment was necessitated because the annual performance evaluation cycle, found him to be in the bottom of the pile.

He is, unfortunately, not a good performer and has trouble completing some of his basic tasks. His previous managers have experienced some issues in his attitude as well – he apparently feels that he should not be working with “ordinary” science graduates when he has a PG degree.

The main issue I face with him is his attitude of a different kind – lethargy. Here is someone who has been informed that his performance is not of a satisfactory level; that he needs to improve drastically; that he is being put on a separate path where his work would be evaluated more closely.

Yet, his approach hasn’t really changed. He is still working the same way as before. In normal circumstance, I had an easy way out – simply release the guy from my team and hope that some other manager, who is in a dire need of heads more than skills, would take this individual. At least that’s how this guy ended up in my team in the first place.

But now, I do not have that luxury. If I have to fill out his assessment report now, I may not have very kind things to say. I would have to admit the lethargy that he brings to work. I would have to note down the fact that he is still approaching work in a reactive mode and not in a pro-active mode. I would have to mention that his quality of work still needs to improve. All this is only going to make the senior management decide to let this guy go. And by letting this guy go, I mean out of the company.

Here comes my dilemma. If I fill in an objective report, he is going to be asked to leave. The only way I can avoid this is by saying that he is good. But when he gets back to the annual evaluation exercise, the truth would come out. And at that point in time, my assessment is going to be questioned and probably, I might even be asked to leave.

So the obvious thing for me to do is to do the former – file an objective report. But it is the aftermath that worries me. I can’t really recollect providing feedback that has lead to the severance of the relationship between an employee and his/her employer. And in this case, the employee is actually an old guy who is at least some 3-4 years behind schedule on his career track and I believe this also has impacted his personal life. And how is someone going to fare in this current market situation when there barely any new job vacancies in the Software sector?

You can give me all the clichéd advices – that I should steel myself; that I should eliminate the “personal” angle; that I should remember that I am only doing my job; that I should remember that my job is itself at stake if I don't do this; that this is a perform or perish time; that this guy was given a chance but he didn’t take it up etc. etc..

But I want to know if you have actually been in that situation ever in your life? Did you face a similar predicament? If so, how did you handle the events after the decision was made? Or were you one of those gifted people who see everything as black and white and hence able to arrive at clear and bold decisions? Or have you been on the other side of the coin and if so, how did you handle things?