The Anniversary that coincides with India’s Republic Day

Today, on the 12th Anniversary of a great event in my life, the time has now come for me to officially document it in this blog. Some of you have heard me narrate the story and for the benefit of the few who haven’t, here is that very interesting event.

We first rewind to India’s first Republic Day of the new millennium – 26-Jan-2000. I was well into my 2nd year at work and it was also just more than a month since my family had purchased our first car – a Cyprus Blue coloured Maruti Suzuki 800 DX. I hadn’t gotten my permanent driving license as yet and was still on my learner’s license. Also, my car driving experience by itself was only 2 weeks more than my car owning experience. Given this situation, I used to drive the car at every opportunity, within my neighbourhood, to gain more experience and confidence.

On the date indicated above, two of my friends from school had dropped home. We then decided to go to the beach. Though the beach is barely 300 metres from home, I opted to take the car. And for reasons I just don’t remember or fathom, those two guys decided to take the bike and not come with me by car.

For such a short distance, it is always faster by bike and those two reached the beach first. I tried to get a parking spot near where they were standing, but couldn’t find one. So I had to drive down a little further, take a U-Turn and park on the other side of the road. When I reached the other side, I was driving slowly, looking for a parking spot. Also, I had my windows rolled down, probably because I didn’t want to use the AC for such a short distance.

Even as I was looking for a spot, some 2-3 guys ran across the road into the lane and appeared to be headed towards my car. One of them reached my car faster than his friends and punched my face! I just had no clue what was happening. Then they all asked me to step out of the car. I did and in a completely disoriented and nervous state, was asking them why there were hitting me. One of those guys was holding me by the scruff of my shirt/t-shirt and another one gave me one more slap.

I was barely aware of what was happening, when a crowd gathered around us. The 2-3 guys were hurling abuses at me and primarily accusing me of trying to run over them! I tried reasoning with them, but I think my voice box refused to pass on to the world, the words that my brain was sending to it.

All this while, the crowd around us was just enjoying their free entertainment for the Holiday. Thankfully, mobile phones especially those with cameras weren’t sold for dime a dozen, else, I would by now be on You Tube.

Anyways, out of the blue, two policemen, on a TVS Champ, came towards this gathering. The crowd finally swung into some action and dispersed. The 2-3 guys also ran away. Being the major சமத்து (innocent) guy that I am, I suddenly got worried that the cops would ask me for my license and on seeing my learner’s license, would probably take me into custody. So, I ended up doing a non-innocent act and fled the scene in my car. 

While you may be engrossed in the narration, feeling sorry for me (or more likely be ROFL), your attention should now be directed towards the two friends of mine, who have been absent from the narrative for the past 2000 words. They now make a re-entry.

When I reached home, I stopped a few meters short my gate, primarily to examine the damage to my face. Just then, my two friends came nearby on their bike and asked me what happened. They patiently heard me narrate the incident. With their support, it was now easier for me to enter my home. My parents obviously got the shock of their life seeing their son with a big blue patch around the right eye and a completely reddened face. We went over the story once again and that is where, I found out more about what happened.

Apparently, after I crossed my friends at the beach, they saw some 2-3 guys walking near the road in a very inebriated condition. A blue coloured car had gone past them and they were miffed by the proximity it had with them. These guys had seen the car go further down, couldn’t track where it really went and when they suddenly saw a similar (similar; not same) coloured car (mine) in the opposite direction, the alcohol in their blood stream made them decide that it was me who had almost run them over.

You would still be wondering why my friends didn’t come over to help. Basically, they first saw me go by; then saw this near-accident and then, they were just chatting and looking elsewhere (at someone I suspect). They saw the crowd gathering a few seconds/minutes later and had no clue that I was there in middle. In fact, they seemed to be looking out for me in some other direction. Only when they saw the crowd disperse and spotted my car also speeding away, did they realise that I too had something to do with that gathering!

Needless to say, they were continuously chuckling while narrating their side of the story.
I was then taken to the Doctor, who gave me some medicines and did some basic cleaning of the external wounds. My colleagues at work had a tough time in accepting that someone as innocent as me could get such beatings, though my boss strongly suspected (in front of my colleagues) that I got whacked by a girl’s sandals.

So there it is; Yours Truly has been a victim of a public beating also known as தர்ம அடி. 

The luncheon equilibrium

My lunch group at work consists of many of my peers and a couple of seniors. The group has been steadily growing in numbers in the last 4 years and as a result, there are at least 8 of us at the table on an average day.

Though there may be seniors, till recently, not many of us had any direct reporting to anyone else (barring 1 or 2 here and there) and so, there was no underlying tension. However, in the past few months, there has been a significant change in the equation at the table.

What happened you wonder? Due to the sudden spike in the demand for people in one of the accounts, a lot of my friends have all been moved to fill in the gap. As a result, almost 80% of my lunch group now belongs to a single account. Moreover, they all now have a direct reporting into a couple of the seniors in the group as well. I am thankfully not part of that crowd and am still one of independent members in the group.

Previously, the conversations used to be around anything under the sun. We of course did have some shop talk and that would be inevitable in a group formed in the shop! But what I liked a lot was that since all of us very pretty much disconnected from each other in terms of the project we were working on, the managers we worked for etc., even when one person talked about the mundane irritants at work, there was always another person who could talk on the same topic, but with a slightly different flavour.

We got our chances to voice things about the processes or our managers without much restraint. And like I said before, even when we didn't have to talk about work, we always had so many other topics to discuss. In many ways, this was a good opportunity to de-stress yourself.

Not any more. These days, the conversation is invariably just around the account that most of my group currently works for. The issues they are facing. The support that they are not getting from others. How important they are. How big they are. How envious others are of them. What is the level of influence they have in the "system".

As ever, I try my best to steer the conversation to general topics. And I can clearly see that somehow everyone wants to return back to discussions surrounding the account. What used to friendly banter earlier, is fast turning into accusations and counter-justifications.

So, what has changed in this group? These are the same individuals, but with a closer peer equation and a clear line of reporting. Clearly, the friendship on display at the table, was clearly just that - a display. A display that always had an underlying current and the movement into a single umbrella has regulated this current to throw some light!

These days, I am almost keen on not joining them for lunch. Or for a caffeine break. Thankfully, I am spending a lot more time in the other office these days and that is certainly helping me a lot. I dunno how many days that can happen, because my visits to the other office has already started raising many an eyebrow.

Looks like it is time I find a different group for lunch and caffeine. And only time can tell me if it is going to be in this same company!

What a coincidence

Last weekend was probably one that registered the highest level of coincidence in my life.

2 of my childhood buddies came to Chennai. One of them lives in the US and the other in Bangalore. I had met them separately in 2005-6, but the last time that all three of us were in the same coordinates, was in the previous millennium!

The friend from US - Dr.Bulb, Ph.d and 2 post graduate degrees - landed in Chennai last Friday night (27th Nov). The guy from Bangalore - Papsu, an M.S from I.I.Sc - came to Chennai that same morning. And we all met up at Dr.Bulb's house.

And as part of the catching-up routine, this is what we did!


Papsu had earlier come home with his mother, wife and son (baby). His sister, BIL and nephew joined a little later. He left that same evening back to Bangalore. Bulb is still here in town till end of this year.

The Maami Matrix will identify who is a Maami

There was a rather serious discussion at work today. It had nothing to do with the economic crisis. Nor did it have anything to do with how we should go about our daily activities.

The discussion was fully centered on whom in our circle of friends, was going to be given the "மாமி" title. In our "sangam" in the office, comprised almost exclusively of TamBrahms and an Iyengar, there are 5 women. The eldest amongst them was called மாமி. She announced to us today that she has put in her papers and would be relieved of her official duties by the end of this week.

And in true spirit of our gang, we gave her a simple farewell mail and then got onto business - the business being the need to identify the next மாமி. I asked the 4 remaining ladies to volunteer for that title, but no one did. There was a challenge thrown at us men to identify the மாமி.

That got me thinking. While it is easy to call people names, the tag "மாமி" is usually given to TamBrahm women of a certain age/position etc. The "etc." was what no man has ever attempted to define till now.

I decided to take the serious step of actually listing out the items that probably influence us into associating a lady with "மாமி" moniker. I listed out a few parameters and gave each of them a weightage. I then did a calculation that involved multiplying the weightage with the score in each parameter. These were then summed up. The lady with the highest total was then declared as the next "மாமி".

So here is the calculation sheet for your perusal.



So how does the scoring work? The score has to be in the range of 0.0 to 1.0, with 0.0 representing a true NO and a 1.0 representing a full Yes. For example, if the person is Married and Has Kids, she gets 1.0. If she is unmarried (and without kids) she gets 0.0. Anyone who is married and has no kids gets a 0.5.

Similarly, for the Iyer accent parameter we have to take into consideration the usage of words like "aathukku" more than "veetukku" or "nanna" in place of "nalla" or eases into "nee" very quickly from "neenga" etc. In this day and age it would be almost impossible to get a 1.0 in this scale, and hence this parameter carries a good weightage.

There are a few parameters like "Kid-Look". If someone does look her age and comes across as being much younger, then she gets a rating closer to 1.0. Conversely, if one looks their age (or even older), she gets a score closer to 0.0. But while calculating the weighted score we can’t do a direct multiplication. If you do, someone who actually looks younger would get a higher weighted score whereas she should get a lower weighted score. So, the workaround is to deduct the score from the basis point of 1.0 and then multiply the resultant with the weightage.

After I shared this scoring sheet with my friends, I received a suggestion to include the residential area of the individual also as a parameter. Someone living in Mylapore, Nanganallur, Triplicane etc. would get a higher score whereas someone living in say Anna Nagar or Chengulpet is likely to get a lower score. We can probably assign a weightage of 5% to this parameter.

If you have any parameter in mind that can help us arrive at a more robust and scientific model, please share the same.

Damned if you do; damned if you don’t

That’s what Arun, a friend of mine from my previous company, must have thought when he heard me complaining last evening. To cut a long story short, I had to attend a reception yesterday. But unfortunately, I assumed that the event was today and had planned my schedule accordingly.

Arun called me at 7:50 PM and checked my plans. When he found out that I was at home he reminded me about the reception. I initially suspected this call from him to be an elaborate prank, since he and a few of my friends in this group are quite capable of pulling my leg. But I finally understood the truth and dashed to the reception.

When he’d called, I was being admonished by my mother for not coming for supper, even after she’d been calling me for the past 5 minutes. So she was quite upset that I was now rushing out due to my absent-mindedness. And she didn’t lose the opportunity to check if this was a recurrence of a similar incident in my 12th standard board exam, when I assumed that date of the Chemistry practical exam to be one day later than the actual date! If Hari had not called me on the morning of the exam, I’d be history. (Thanks Hari).

Anyways, the venue was quite close to my house and since I had just bathed, I was able to leave my house quite quickly and be at the venue by 8:15. After I reached there, I was admonishing Arun for not calling me earlier. My whole point of contention was that he and my other friends SHOULD have called me at least on Saturday morning to find out when I’d be coming. More than just planning our entry at the venue, it would have helped serve a reminder to me.

Arun’s side of the tale was simple. It was a foregone conclusion that I’d be coming there. With respect to the time, it was perhaps going to be 7ish since that is the time that people usually start coming to wedding receptions. So there was no explicit need to call me!

Even though I was angry with him for not calling me earlier, I was obviously thankful that he’d called me at least that late. And from his side, I was chiding him for calling me that late and would have been blasted if he hadn’t called me at all. Ergo, Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Iron Man and Dinner

I watched Iron Man. I was accompanied only by Nilu since certain other people ditched their friends and watched the movie with their family already. The same certain other people ditched us yesterday as well for very whimsical reasons.

Anyways, the movie was really good. Nice special effects. No unnecessary sentiments that are now becoming mandatory in super hero movies; which in turn meant that the movie was fast paced and didn't sag at all.

But one thing though, I just cant see Robert Downey Jr. as a super hero; any hero for that matter. Though the role doesn't call for any acting skills, I felt let down by his expressions and voice modulation.

We watched the movie at Mayajal, which by the way, finally has a new food court with decent brands in it. After the movie, we had our dinner at PitStop which is a restaurant designed on the lines of the joints in the USA. We would have seen many such setups in the movies from the 50s and 60s. But the food was really bad and service was equally worse. The only good thing there was the restroom!

The next movie to watch would have to Speed Racer. And once again, I would have to go only with Nilu since certain other people would surely give some vague excuse and watch it with their family!

Old friends in a new restaurant

An old friend of mine from my previous company had come to Chennai last week. He stays in the City of Angels and had come here since his father was not keeping well.

On Saturday, I met him and 3 other friends from that circle, for dinner. We went to the roof-top restaurant in The Accord Metropolitan hotel. It was good to catch up with old friends and exchange data about who's left in the old place; where people are currently located; who has switched companies etc - basically glorified gossip.

Anyways, the restaurant was one pricey affair. The spread on the menu wasn't that great and whatever little was available was bloody expensive. And worse, the serving portions were also quite small or normal at best. But I must admit that the taste was good. This restaurant is probably the 5 star equivalent of Saravana Bhavan!

Another thing was the ambiance. The area was very dimly illuminated. There were small blue colored lamps on each pillar of the stylishly designed canopy and a couple of blinking lights on the floor. And reading the menu was quite an arduous task considering the unwieldy size of the menu card, the layout of the card (there were barely 8 pages, each written in a font size like the first letter you read out during an eye examination), the really thick material of the card (thick enough to replace a plywood plank on a cupboard) and the complicated names and descriptions given to the dishes ensured that people opted for the tried and trusted varieties.

The crowd that came there was quite up-market and from a vasool perspective it was worth the price. All in all, its a place one must visit if you are planning to mottai adichufy someone in the guise of a treat.

We then bade our farewells and went our own ways. Of course, I followed one guy till very near his house (he stays in Thiruvanmiyur) just because he had some beer. I followed him just to spite him a li'l and he finally called me and shouted at me to go away from his route. I felt that my good deed for the day was done.

More important than how you express a condolence, what really matters seems to be the when!

I'd mentioned last week that one of my managers in the office lost his father on the 12th of this month. He'd passed on the message to me and my friends that night.

None of us could visit him that night and since the next day was the Tamizh New Year's day, none of us could visit him then too. But while discussing it with my friends, we first thought that we would meet him at his house on Monday. But there was no confirmation for that plan and it was implicitly decided that we would decide that in the office on Monday. I had checked with my mother and she mentioned that for vijaarichufying dhukkam, one had to go there only on a Thursday or Sunday.

I told my friends about this on Monday. While no one seemed to refute this theory, the conversation then moved on to which time of the day we had too meet him. We took up Thursday first. Most of us, including me, wanted to meet him on Thursday morning. One of my friends objected saying that it would be difficult for him to return home to bathe and then come to office. A couple of others who had to travel to my branch of the office agreed to it and a couple of others who had to go to the other branch didn't mind the morning trip.

So I gave the suggestion that we all meet him on Thursday morning and then come to office. We could then have the "ritual bath" when we reach home! I was shocked at the reaction from everyone in the group. This was probably one of the rare instances when everyone in the group had the same view about something (but technically I had a different one, so...). Everyone seemed to be shocked at the very thought of having to go to office after visiting a house where there was a death. The idea was shot down much faster than the speed with which a bullet leaves a gun.

I didn't give up and tried bringing a little bit of practical and rational angle to the subject. The only reason the whole bathing aspect was brought into the rituals was because a dead human body is likely to attract a lot of micro-organisms and hence, when you return home after visiting such a place, it makes sense to have a bath. My point in this case was that we were visiting him some 5 days after he lost his father and his father's last rites were performed latest by Sunday. Which meant that there was no dead body in the house. And once the body is taken out, the house is cleaned and hence there is no need to worry about these micro-organisms.

But no one would have it. I think everyone added more negative points against me in their books. The counter posed to me was that if I was being so rationalistic, then why not I visit him on any other day of the week. A very pertinent question and honestly, I didn't subscribe to that school of thought either. So, if I was willing to accept this, why not accept the bathing aspect too.

My point is still this: The "rule" says that you should have a bath when you return home. The next statement made was that once you go to a dhukkam vijaarichufying place, you shouldn't go elsewhere! I am again going back in time and trying to understand what other places did people go to in those days? Did they have swanky offices or did they even have the concept of an office those days? People were either at home or in their own shops or their own farms or temples. Now temples - I agree that we shouldn't go there without bathing even on normal days. So at some level, I can accept not going to a temple in the above kind of situation.

Then are all my friends equating the office to a temple as an extension of the "work is worship" principle? I still feel that everyone still follow many rules, blindly.

The next point to be discussed was if we could go there in the evening. But by the time we leave office and reach his house, it would surely be after 6 PM, which again was a taboo according to our customs.

Anyways, after discussing and deliberating the time lines for one more day, it was finally agreed that all of us would meet him on Thursday morning, come back home, bathe and then head to the office. We went to his house - his brother's house actually - at the appointed hour and expressed our condolences. As is my habit in this type of situation, I was more silent than usual. I find it difficult to say things and I am sure that the question that I want to ask, would have been asked by so many others all these days and I felt bad that the affected person would have to repeat it so many times. So, I usually end up being a mute spectator to all that is going on around me.

Anyways, I came back home, had the mandated head bath and then reached office around 10.45 AM.

Fabulous time at Citi Center

Raghu and I had a great time at Citi Center this evening. As has become the norm of late, his wife refused to accompany us and in a way it suited us well.

The vasool in the mall was simply superb. It may not fit into the top 3 all time vasool days, but it is easily in the top 10. We got to fill out the free parking coupon by giving a wrong phone number. We played Hoops Fever and today was definitely my best effort at the mall till date. We played 5 games and I had scores of 57, 42 and 32 in 3 of the 5 games.

Actually, near the Hoops Fever enclosure, we found 3 hundred rupee notes in a folded manner. There were few girls who were playing before we went there and we first assumed it would be them. I wanted to return it to them or at least to the people at the counter. But Raghu said that anyone might claim it as theirs and asked me to keep it until someone comes in search of it.

None of those girls came around looking for the money and I was a bit sad that they hadn't realised what they lost by not coming to us - I mean it purely in terms of their search for their lost money.

Anyways, we completed our 5 games and decided that the money we recovered would go into some hundial. While we neared the stairs to exit, one of the house keeping staff came up to us and told us that he was the owner of the money. He said that he had lost the notes while he was around that area, cleaning up the consoles. I asked how much he lost and he said 300 rupees. I called in Raghu and he asked him few questions to check the authenticity of the claim.

The fact that he gave the correct amount kinda swung my faith towards him. At one point Raghu also agreed that we could give it to him. I did and while leaving we both agreed that probably we were conned. But I am still consoling myself that since he mentioned the correct amount, he probably did lose it.

Anyways, we roamed around as aimlessly as ever and called it a day after 2 hours in the mall. One thing to be noted is that we actually went to the car park twice in between. Once to keep a small shopping that Raghu did, in the car and the second time, Raghu realised while unlocking the car door that he forgot to buy something. So we returned and both times, we came by the same lift that brought us down. The lift operator must have had a sense of deja vu!

If the mall had a proper surveillance system in place, I am sure some security guard would have spotted our frequent movement between the car park and the mall. Since no such person came to us, we assume that they probably feel we are totally docile and harmless creatures.

Anyways, we finally left the place after 2 hours with a very heavy heart!

My friendly friends

On the return from office today, Ramadurai, Raghavan and I traveled together. We boarded a coach at the front of the train and it was quite an empty one. We occupied seats that were in the west side of the train.

Ram was the first one to detrain and his station was to the east of the train. We had already exchanged quite a few “bye byes” and so, I was a little surprised to hear him call out my name. I looked around and spotted him near a window. I hope you remember the directional indicators I'd given earlier. This in effect meant that, Ram was calling me from one side of the coach to the other end where I was seated.

And at that point, it obviously attracted a couple of passenger's attention. Bored with reading a magazine and also with peeping into the magazine of their neighbors, some of these guys were looking askance at the 2 of us. Ram said some absolutely useless stuff which I am sure even he doesn't remember. I told Raghavan that the whole thing was like the scene when we give a sendoff to our near and dear at the railway station, when the train they have boarded starts moving towards its destinations 100s of Kms away. I even wondered aloud to Raghavan if Ram probably had the habit of waving aimlessly at a passing train hoping that someone inside would return that favor! I need to check this with Ram tomorrow.

Anyways, at the next stop, Raghavan gets down and behold my surprise, when he too came near the window and asked if he should get me some water or juice!!!! I am like, "huh". What? Am I really in an EMU headed from Paranur to Guindy or am I undertaking a journey to Guntur?

No doubt that both of them had very noble intentions, but the lady sitting in the seat closer to the window and who had the (mis)fortune to hear both of them, must have surely thought that I was one poor “ba lamb” make his first trip on the EMU!

Wake up call

A good friend of mine at work was admitted to a hospital last week, after he complained of pain in the left hand, chest and also general uneasiness, nausea etc. He has been diagnosed as having high BP, high cholesterol etc. He in fact spent a whole day in the ICU.

He is now back in the ward for the past 3 days. In fact, he was scheduled to be discharged from the hospital today. I hope he gets back home soon very soon.

While the incident may very well have been caused due to the excessive stress and physical strain caused due to the pressures and vagaries in his project, it is very clearly a manifestation of his general state of health.

There is another friend of mine at work. who is already under treatment for high BP and cholesterol. And I heard from another peer that he was having high cholesterol. Same was the case with one of my seniors.

It is very evident that my sedentary lifestyle, interspersed with eating binges bordering on gluttony, is not going to help me in the long run. Given the nature of my profession, it is high time that I put that treadmill to use. Also need to dust out the yoga books from last year!

Is this a harbinger?

There was a news item in today's edition of the Adyar Times - a widely read local newspaper in my area. Its probably widely read because its free, but then I digress as usual.

Anyways, as seen in the picture here,
my dear friend Neeluking has been unanimously elected as the President of his apartment complex's Welfare Society.

Though he claims its only an ornamental position, much like what the President of India means (especially with that seat presently occupied by a criminal who in turn was appointed by another), I think this gives him a good opportunity to do serve the general public.

In case Nilu does become an active President and doesn't confine himself to just his apartment complex and thereby if he does start making his mark in real politics and one day does reach the highest office in this country (to be read "Chairperson of a ruling coalition at the Centre"), I hope he manages to remember that I am one of the first few people to congratulate him and that too in such a wide forum as the Internet.

Very soon I plan to place placards and posters along the way from his house to office. The slogans would include and not be limited to:
1. Vakkeelay
2. Vaazhum needhiyay
3. Court-ay
4. Imayamay
5. Thamizhay
6. Malayaalamay
7. Thalayaamay
8. Valibaray
9. Bike oattum barrister-ay

I know I have a long way to go, but by the time he jumps into real politics, I think I would have seen more of the sycophancy notes from DMK along GST and would be able to pick up a few leads from there.