You are as old as you look

 Thursday, the 19th of August 2021, was a clear (possibly yet another) reminder that I have started looking my age; Or may be even older. Let me share the details of why I came to this conclusion. It involved two separate incidents in the space of 30 minutes. 

On the said date, I had to visit Giri Traders at Tiruvanmiyur, to purchase the Avani Avittam set for the event that was coming up the following Sunday. As usual, parking was an issue and I had to part in front of Marundeeswarar temple. Having parked in front of his gate, I couldn’t not visit the temple. After a quick Hi to Mr. Thyagarajar and Mrs. Tirupurasundari, I walked towards the aforementioned shop for my purchase and en route, this quaint little place called “House of Annapoorna” beckoned me. 

Of course, not literally, because that would have warranted some severe movement of the ancient buildings, but it was an invitation nevertheless. I had noticed this place for a year or so, but was always wary about checking it out. But not that day. I was quite famished and in desperate need of a caffeine boost and lo behold, I walked in. 

The place is an old Agraharam house, that has been partially remodelled to suit the needs of a restaurant. It has very good ambience and the pricing is quite low. Service is decent and food is tasty too. Now that the Google review is done, let us come to the incident. 

The waiter served me Mysore Bonda, per my request and then went about his business of working other tables. After the Bonda found its rightful place in my digestive tract, I requested the waiter for coffee. This is when the first age related alert came in. 

Like I said, I asked him for coffee and told him that I wanted it a little strong. He then looked at me and asked, “Sugar podalama sir” (Can sugar be added to coffee). This is usually a query reserved for the aged folks who order coffee in a restaurant and it was the first time, to my recollection at least, that someone asked me that question. I could hear shattering glass window panes due to sudden strong winds that also brought in clouds, just like how diabetes always comes up suddenly and brings along cholesterol, BP and what not. Maybe that comparison alone makes it clear that I am old. 

With tears swelling up in my eyes, I controlled the lump forming in my throat and told him to put normal quantity. 

After this shattering experience, I walked to Giri Traders and went to the section where the Avani Avittam set was sold. Just as I was catching my breath (100 metres walk after Mysore Bonda and coffee, followed by 1 flight of stairs ok) and scanning the shelf for what I needed, the sales lady came by and asked what I wanted. 

I told her that I need Avani Avittam set and she asked me if I was smart or if I was Iyengar? I wondered why she thinks that Iyengars cannot be smart, though I do know 1 or 2 Iyengars who would fit that train of thought. I wanted to ask her if she also knew the same people and if not, why she came to such a conclusion. And all this while I was also looking at the shelf and saw that there were 2 sets and they had the label “Avani Avittam Smartha set” and “Avani Avittam Iyengar set”. 

Meanwhile, since I hadn’t responded to her query, she looked at my face and then realized that I was wearing vibuthi and kungumam from my visit to the Shivan temple. 

She then took up one packet from the “Avani Avittam Smartha set” and gave it to me. The label on the packet also said “Grihastha” and not “Brahmachari”. Usually, when I make this purchase, the sales people at least ask cursorily if I wanted Grihastha set or Brahmachari set. But not that day. The lady directly handed over the Grihastha set. Once again, the same set of shattering glass panes, strong winds, gloomy skies all came up. But by then, I was resigned to the reality that I had started looking my age and probably even older. 

So next time anybody sees me and says “Nee innum maarave illa” (you haven’t changed), there are only 2 conclusions – one they are lying or two, I was always looking old. 

Coffee World needs to be boycotted

Badri - one of my few close friends in sothabama college - had come over this evening to invite us, formally, for his wedding on the 5th of this month.

We then got in touch with Shankar - another close friend in that same college - and met at Shankar's house. We then decided to just catch up on neutral territory and so left Shankar's place.

After a little deliberation, we decided to go to Coffee World on C.P.Ramaswamy Road. We sat down and got down to the business of ordering. 3 sandwiches and 2 cold drinks were ordered.

While we were reminiscing, the sandwiches were served and we then put our respective mouths to a different task.

After the sandwiches were harbored in some part of our food canal, we continued chatting. The waiters even cleared our plates after some 10 minutes. Then Badri, who hadn't ordered a drink in the first round, called for the menu and chose something.

In case the fact has missed your keen eye, let me point out that there were 2 cold drinks we had ordered earlier and these were not served yet.

Badri then placed his order for some juice and after 10 minutes that was served. But no signs of our Cookie Cruch Frappe and Choco Frappe. We reminded the chap who served the juice about it. He checked the order slip and said he would get the stuff.

But even after 10 minutes, nothing came up to our table. In the meantime, a supervisory looking guy had also taken a look at the order slip (in case you ain't familiar with Coffee World's working style, the order slip is placed on a holder laid out on the table itself).

Still, no signs of the Frappe. I called up another dude and told him about the situation. He too went back promising to deliver the goods. But history repeated itself. Once again, no sign of the drink even after another 10 minutes.

I called up the first guy and asked him about it. He apologised and went back to the preparation area. Some 5 minutes later, the Choco Frappe was served. But my order was still pending.

Even after 2-3 minutes, I didn't see any of the servers (that's what I am gonna call them) carrying any tray with my drink on it.

I called up the first dude and told him clearly that I was totally upset with the service. That it was ridiculous to take so much time to serve this drink. He responded saying that they were understaffed and there were many orders. I asked him if that were the case, then how come people who came after us have had their orders completed and have even left the premises. He was like blinking nervously.

I asked to speak to his manager and he said that guy was not there. Then another server came in with the Frappe. I actually blew my fuse at that point and asked him to take back the drink and cancel my order. Both were like a li'l shocked and I pushed my foot down even heavily and told him categorically that they can take back that Frappe and cancel my order. I also said that I am sorry to use these words, but your service is shitty. Yes, I said shitty to them.

I then insisted that I speak to the guy in charge of the store right away. He then went and sent someone else. That guy he was the store in-charge. Ironically, he was one of the guys to whom I'd given the reminder. So I told him that I needed to speak to someone else senior. I'd seen a guy in a yellow t-shirt and he had a bossy look to him. I asked for him. I got a very blunt remark that the Area Manager is not around and I'd have to wait to speak to him. This bugger then simply walked away.

Obviously, by this time I was quite furious. And I decided to play hard too.

A couple of minutes later, the Area Manager walked in. I think he was already informed about the situation and so he went to this rude chap who had just spoken to me. He spoke with that dude for a minute or so and came to our table.

I offered him the spare seat that was available. And told him in very clear words that I was totally upset. That I'd never experienced such pathetic service anywhere. I also added that I was meeting my friend after 9 years (technically it was only 7) and now this service and experience has ruined the evening. He apologised for the behavior and asked me to have the drink.

I told him that I was not going to take it. And that whatever he does or offers or however much he apologises, I was going to do only 2 things: One, I was not going to have that Frappe and Two, I would never ever set foot in this shop again.

I guess he was mildly shocked at what I said. He apologised more profusely and once again requested that I take the order and also that I come back to this shop and also offer my patronage to their new shop at Adyar. But I was in no mood for all that and said that I accept his apology, but reiterated that nothing he could offer me would make me budge from my stand of not taking that Frappe and not returning to that shop.

We talked back and forth like this for a couple of minutes and he then left assuring that he would look into the matter seriously.

We then asked for the bill and then paid the money and didn't leave even one ruppee as a tip. There was even a feedback form and I once again filled all this in it.

Anyways, the net result is that I will not go back to that store.

sukku kaapi

This morning, I had my first experience of sukku kaapi.

I have heard of this weird sounding thingy before and finally I thought of having a go at it. And one of my saapattu goshtee members ordered it for me.

So, there I was waiting for this exotic sounding concoction to be served and the vendor handed over a steaming paper cup full of it.

The first thing that hit me was the color. It was WHITE. I like my coffee to be in the spectrum between dark brown and black. And the thing here was like white.

I was going to ask the vendor to add some more 'decoction' to get some color and thats when my sangam members intervened. Having seen quite a bewildered look on my face, they understood what I was looking for.

Then they started explaining the whole concept of sukku kaapi to me. I found out that in sukku kaapi one only gets sukku and absolutely no kaapi. Apparently, to make this liquid syrup, one just boils milk, adds sugar and a spoon or so of this sukku stuff. After this they leave it to the drinker's capacity to gulp it down (or keep staring at it like i did for some time).

I mean, if you are calling a beverage as some kaapi then why the bleep dont you add kaapi in it? I dont want to hear the 'there is no mysore in mysore bonda' story for this - at least there is no mysore but there is bonda. not the case in sukku kaapi, where you get sukku and no kaapi.

So after a long stare at the cup which didnt help bring in any form of caffeine in it, I decided to drink the damn thing, at least for its inherent medicinal benefits.

Needless to add, thats the only reason one must ever drink that potion.

I now wonder and hope that Neeluking clarifies, can I file a PIL for bringing in a name change for this beverage? Meaning, if they call something as 'something kaapi' i damn well expect to see kaapi in it. Same logic for other such food stuff with contradictory names.